HUMOR AND SATIRE | WHAT REALLY HAPPENED


HUMOR AND SATIRE

Jul 21 10:59

SATURDAY ALTERNATIVE CARTOONS: JULY 21, 2018

Here is the latest round of cartoons from Snippits! Enjoy!

Jul 20 23:34

Hot Air Balloons!

Seeing the protest balloons in Britain I think Trump would have them beat with all the hot air going after him here in America.

Jul 20 08:47

NEWS FLASH: World’s Library Sabotaged

The Library of the World — the greatest collection since the Ancient Library of Alexandria — is the world’s largest and most complete library ever collected — and which is claimed to hold a nearly complete written record of human knowledge — has been found to have been secretly sabotaged by a cabal within the library’s Indexing Department.

The sabotage was so subtle that it has only become apparent within the last few days. Here’s what we know so far: Over the last year, the group within the Indexing Department, calling themselves The Enlightened, have been quietly altering the Master Index to the vast collection by altering the individual indexes of works they consider “objectionable” or “evil” or “not helpful” to the social, political and scientific world view of cult’s leaders.

Jul 17 18:17

Strzok’s Medal Disorder

Strzok's Medal Disorder. Democrats think so little of our brave military and the honorable Purple Heart they even feel that the partisan FBI agent Strzok should get one for lying to Congress

Jul 17 08:47

Graham Hart - Hoax Train

Jul 16 00:17

Strzok Out

Peter Strzok Reeks of arrogance and deceit as demonstrated in the hearings, while the Democrats deflected, played defense and heaped praise on this subversive.

Jul 12 18:57

Transgender is Sexist

Jul 09 08:07

Merkel - the Children

Jul 05 07:37

SCHOOL DAZE:

A Virginia elementary school is spending $26,000 to rename itself after America’s most destructive president. Jon Miller imagines a day at Barack Obama Elementary School ...

Jul 04 19:12

American Revolutionary War Song:Ballad of the Green Mountain Boys

Lyrics:

Ho--all to the borders! Vermonters, come down,
With your britches of deerskin and jackets of brown;
With your red woolen caps and your moccasins come,
To the gathering summons of trumpet and drum.
Come down with your rifle!
Let gray wolf and fox
Howl on in the shadow of primitive rocks;
Let bear feed securely from pig-pen and stall;
Here's two-legged game for your powder and ball.
Then cheer, cheer, the green mountaineer, then cheer, cheer the green mountaineer

On the south came the Hessians, our land to police;
And armed for the battle while canting of peace;
On our east came the British, the red coated band
To hang up our leaders and eat up our land.
Ho--all to the rescue! For Satan shall work
No gain for the legions of Hampshire and York!
They claim our possessions--the pitiful knaves--
The tribute we pay shall be prisons and graves!
Then cheer, cheer, the green mountaineer, then cheer, cheer the green mountaineer

Jul 04 08:10

America Fuck Yea!

Jul 01 07:06

Body Language: Rod Rosenstein & Christopher Wray Hearing Revelations

Bombardsbodylanguage goes to to town on rodney

Jun 29 13:54

Prank Caller Patched Through to Trump on Air Force One

The host of "The Stuttering John" podcast, John Melendez, got President Trump on the phone yesterday by pretending he was New Jersey Sen. Bob Menendez... Melendez, the host, had three different interactions with two White House operators and got through two call screens before Jared Kushner called him from Air Force One. According to Melendez, Kushner asked if he wanted to talk to the president then or have them call him back later...

Jun 28 15:23

A NEW YOUTUBE ALTERNATIVE LAUNCHES THIS JULY, WELCOME INSPIRING IDEAS AND FREE SPEECH THAT MATTERS.

They even have a channel for Cannabis/CBD!

FREE to video owners. FREE to users.
Upload, share and embed your videos on an independent platform that protects freedom of expression. Pursue real comedy, independent journalism, independent science and much more. REAL.video is the new home for free speech on the 'net.*

* There are some limits to free speech. No content is allowed that is blatantly illegal, promotes terrorism, threats of violence, animal abuse, etc. Full guidelines available soon.

Welcomed content channels include:

Jun 27 13:54

SALTY LIB TEARS: Record Salt Harvest After Justice Kennedy Resigns From Supreme Court

Salt miners from The Donald and 4Chan are reporting a record harvest after Justice Anthony Kennedy resigned from the Supreme Court on Wednesday.

The DNC was heard melting down on a conference call and their Democrat minions on Reddit and Twitter all had similar hysterical reactions!

Jun 25 07:26

FBI Lovebirds : The Text Messages of Lisa Page & Peter Strzok ( a reenactment video)

this would have been much better had the actors been 5 year olds :)

and...wow listen to all of this!!!!!

Jun 20 10:33

Helluva Party official site

Welcome to the Helluva Party official site. You may leave at anytime. Or whatever.

The Helluva Party is the first apolitical party without a discernible ideology, building on the legacy of Citizens United. We don't have donors, we have customers. Politics as if profits matter.

Jun 19 15:34

'People Of Light': New Campaign Seeks To Redefine What It Means To Be 'White'

A new campaign is seeking to redefine the "outdated" term "white people" with the "people-first" term "people of light," which is short for "people of light skin."

"People of light," also known as "persons of light," or "PoL" for short, say the term "white" is racist and outdated and they want everyone to use "people-first language."

Jun 19 09:29

Monday Humor: Jeff Bezos Explains How Customers Can Delete Alexa's Secretly-Stored Audio

Responding to news of the digital assistant recording users’ conversations without their knowledge, Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos assured critics Tuesday that Alexa’s stored audio can be deleted by simply rappelling into company headquarters, maneuvering through an intricate laser field, and destroying every server with a nanovirus.

“We take privacy concerns seriously, and I want our valued customers to know they can erase all the information their Amazon Echo has gathered just by being dropped from a helicopter over one of our towers, using a diamond-tipped glass cutter to carve out a hole in a 32nd-story window, and then employing advanced cyberwarfare techniques to compromise our data centers,” said Bezos, who added that users merely need to have their demolitions expert blow through a 7-foot steel barrier and reach Amazon’s highly complex cloud storage system to access the audio captured by Alexa.

Jun 17 21:14

Trump to Europoodles: “Roll Over. Bark. Beg…Crawl.: With a Korean Preface

I don’t get it. I know, I know, I’m just some mutt in Mexico with a computer, and easily puzzled. But…huh? Trump, we are told, pulled off a master stroke in Singapore. All the world reels at this astonishment. We see Talleyrand and Metternich rolled into one gorgeous taco. But…but….

Who did the doing, and who got done?

Jun 17 03:14

Justin Trudeau Accused of Groping Young Reporter in 2000

Oh dear, Mr Sanctimonious is a groper. Like Father Like Son

The Canadian Libertatian gives him a proper roasting :)

Jun 15 10:34

I WISH...

Jun 14 20:31

We Need To Bring Manhood Back - Gavin McInnes TRIGGERING Feminists.

Master Provocatuer McInnes talks about establishing the Proud Boys Club, a male only club.

Proud Boys: Who Are They?

Wikiedia tries to put the 'Alt-Right' label on them(Of course)
Proud Boys

Jun 12 09:50

Purpose of evil on Earth? More evil = easier for souls to evolve because fierce competition demands work; less evil = harder for souls to evolve because livin’ is easy

*hyperlinks/videos live at source*

From what I see and sense, Earth is in a completion phase:
1. The historically-hidden realms of rogue state empires existing on lies played upon human limitations is being revealed.
2. Those of us relatively awake play important roles illuminating crucial objective facts, as best we’re able among stupefied humanity bred and conditioned to obey their wanna-be masters.
3. The point of completion is not “victory for good” but choices of who individuals say they are: either electing psychopathic domination only possible in the dark, or entering the light where all is seen and psychopathic lies/tricks fool no one.

Jun 06 11:03

Hill-ISIS-LI

May 31 12:27

Fresh Garrison! - Who Let the Dogs Out?

grrrgraphics

roger_stone_cartoon.jpg

May 31 12:23

Hillary for Asylum 2020

May 28 09:47

Hija-Barbie

Satire

May 27 13:21

The Letter Q

Thanks Q, for all you do!

May 27 07:44

MAD Magazine, October 2013.

. Obama-spy

May 27 01:20

The Clapper!

May 25 14:35

Hilarious Footage: Starbucks Sensitivity Training

Starbucks plans to close the stores and offer sensitivity training on May 29th of this year as a result of a Starbucks employee calling the police on two black men who were denied access to the bathroom for not being a paying customer. What will those classes look like? Here's a video of what employees of Starbucks might expect to see....

May 24 11:40

New Ben Garrison! - The Wizard of Twitter

grrrgraphics

May 23 11:15

Weird laws still in effect in the United States

Get this – the average US citizen breaks at least three laws a day without even knowing it!

All women of “uncertain” chastity must be off the streets by 9 p.m.

A man can legally beat his wife (but not more than once a month).

One may not have more than two dildos in a house.

Sunshine is guaranteed to the masses.

It is a misdemeanor to shoot at any kind of game from a moving vehicle, unless the target is a whale.

It is illegal to serve alcohol to a gay person.

Males may not dress as a female unless a special permit is obtained from the sheriff.

May 21 21:28

The Messiah Is Here

Excellent piece covering the last couple of weeks in the Mideast.
Pretty well sums it up! Trump and Putin in Netanyahu's pocket.

The arrival of Benjamin Netanyahu on that day was a heaven-sent gift for Putin. Here was the man who could call upon the US Senate, who can deal with the US President, and now he came in person, Mr World Jewry personified, supporting the Russian narrative of history

Netanyahu repaid his host by a missile strike upon Syria, almost right away. This is a standard Israeli procedure: upon any high-level meeting with the Russians, bomb their allies, so they would know who is more important. They bombed Syria while Russian Defence Minister Shoygu’s jet was still in flight from Moscow to Tel Aviv.
Putin swallowed it, and promised to refrain from supplying S-300 to Syria, despite his Chief of Staff’s words.

May 16 08:53

Daddy's Little Ghoul -Ivanka Is Such A Sweet Little Zionist Genocidal Daughter

Who Controls Her Stupid Narcissistic Dad

May 16 07:36

'With friends like that who needs enemies’: Tusk lashes out at Trump over recent US moves

Looks like the EU will be ditching the dollar for oil payments.

Donald Tusk
?
@eucopresident
Looking at latest decisions of @realDonaldTrump someone could even think: with friends like that who needs enemies. But frankly, EU should be grateful. Thanks to him we got rid of all illusions. We realise that if you need a helping hand, you will find one at the end of your arm.

5:36 AM - May 16, 2018
4,313
2,431 people are talking about this

May 12 22:45

Netanyahu: “Let’s You and Him Fight”: Brandishing the American Miitary

Fred On Everything is P.O.ed!

Why did the Cockatoo-in-Chief renege on the Iran deal deeply prized by Russia, China, France, Germany, England, and the European Union? Why did he deliberately damage relations with Europe and cost American workers many thousands of jobs at Boeing among others? Why do all of this to hurt a country that poses no danger to the United States?

Israel.Israel, Israel. Israel. Israel.
Always Israel.

But while “the Jews” didn’t sink the Iran deal, a comparatively small number of Israel-firsters did. These are the Neocons, warlike and heavily Jewish, plus the Jewish lobby AIPAC plus a few Jewish billionaires. Collectively they determine American foreign policy, and not for the benefit of America........

May 12 09:36

Motorised shed hits 100mph to break speed record at Pendine Sands

A souped-up motorised shed has broken its own land speed record on a Welsh beach as it hit 100mph.

May 12 02:58

The Stefan Halper Trick Shot

How to get a fisa warrant

May 10 15:52

Why America is the Greatest Country

Op-Ed by Chris Kanthan

That America is the greatest country today and in the history of mankind is of no doubt. It feels really silly to even write an article about such an indisputable fact. We are the sole superpower with the biggest economy, the most desired currency and the mightiest military. If you’re reading this, you can thank the American innovation called the Internet. Throughout the world, people listen to American music, watch American movies and pay a premium for American brands – from clothing to electronics to food – and dream of immigrating to America. That’s called Soft Power.

Of course, America is not a paradise where everything is perfect. Let’s address some of the concerns of the nitpicking naysayers...

May 10 10:02

Donald Trump angers Scots after luxury golf resort bans Irn-Bru

Trump has really done it now. He has banned the Scots #1 soft drink from his Scottish resort and golf course. Boy is he in big trouble now!
Where is William Wallace when you need him. Trump can kill them,attack their country,sanction them,but the Scots will never give up their Irn Bru!

It is the best-selling soft drink in Scotland, often referred to as the country's "other national drink," so it should perhaps come as no surprise that the banning of Irn-Bru from a luxury golf resort owned by Donald Trump has caused many Scots to see, erm, orange.

May 09 14:45

Watch the Long-Lost ‘Donald Trump’s House of Wings’ Sketch

In 2004, Trump appeared in a Saturday Night Live

May 06 23:41

Man Who Self-Identified as Bear Found Bear Community Highly Intolerant

Ryan Riese of Fulton, MD died yesterday after deciding to don a bear costume and attempt to live among actual bears. He was 36 at the time of his passing.

May 05 17:33

Mid-2018: America’s 2nd Revolution for Independence will win with: 1) Facts all on our side, 2) Teamwork, 3) Faith

*hyperlinks/videos live at source*

America’s first revolution for independence had three stages:
1. Decades of public awakening to their own government using We the People as colonized work animals to maximize a .01% profits. Founders spoke and wrote, government denied and lied, and most Americans were too busy to clearly embrace those facts.
2. War from 1775 to 1781.
3. Decades of recapture for the US to ironically become the world’s most dangerous and harmful illegal rogue state empire.

Welcome to mid-2018 (more on current status here):
1. All facts on the side of We the People to prove a lying, Orwellian-illegal .01% US rogue state empire.
2. Awakening Americans to these facts, but with central questions: will we win? Do we have enough teammates? What strategies can win?
3. Appropriate perspective and humor of we simple humans thrown into this ridiculously challenging cosmic “game.”

May 02 03:44

Michelle Wolf Defends WHCD Jokes

***
I wanted to do something different. I didn’t want to cater to the room. I wanted to cater to the outside audience, and not betray my brand of comedy. I actually, a friend of mine who helped me write, he gave me a note before I went on which I kept with me which was, “Be true to yourself. Never apologize. Burn it to the ground.”

>>>

(*Tough crowd !

I thought they were the Anti Politically Correct administration .)


(*"I learned The Truth from Lenny Bruce"
Paul Simon )

Apr 30 10:57

Bitches and Ho's and Mop Glow Floes with Smiley Face, Polar Bears.

Dog Poet Transmitting.......

It's Sunday! Sunday afternoon. Here at Aquasco Speedway. Big Daddy Dan Gurlitz is rolling out of the hills of South Carolina, just north of the Lee Correctional Facility at Bishopville, SC. With his 4-barrel, hemi-topped, microcephalic, chrome plated, pinhead 457. It's all good.

Something happened in the night last night; don't know what it was. It was good and charged with energy. Yesterday I woke up in the early evening after a short nap, disoriented and hearing that I was in countdown mode and might not be here all that much longer. Time passed and I understood that not much longer did not mean sometime the next day or next year but time to think about winding up those details that have been hanging around, waiting for me to get a clue about them; not time for me to start making plans, cause it never is or will be.

Apr 30 04:20

TRUMP RIPS MICHELLE WOLF

Trump Rips Correspondents' Dinner, 'Filthy' Michelle Wolf

US President Donald Trump on Sunday joined in on the criticism of comedian Michelle Wolf's performance at this year's White House Correspondents’ Association (WHCA) dinner, calling her "filthy" and slamming the event as an "embarrassment."
“The White House Correspondents’ Dinner was a failure last year, but this year was an embarrassment to everyone associated with it,” Trump wrote on twitter, The Hill reported.

“The filthy ‘comedian’ totally bombed (couldn’t even deliver her lines-much like the Seth Meyers weak performance). Put Dinner to rest, or start over!,” he added, referencing Meyers' 2011 headlining performance in which he roasted Trump.

>>>

(*With all due respect , Meyers , Wolf , are two of your "Jewish Friends" , Sir . "13" Days before you deliver preferential treatment for them over all others . )

Apr 27 05:23

The League of Assad-Loving Conspiracy Theorists

So the global capitalist ruling classes’ War on Dissent is now in full swing. With their new and improved official narrative, “Democracy versus the Putin-Nazis,” successfully implanted in the public consciousness, the corporatocracy have been focusing their efforts on delegitimizing any and all forms of deviation from their utterly absurd and increasingly paranoid version of reality.

***
I've been writing about this since 2016, so I’m not going to try to rehash all that here. The short version is, Western societies are being divided into two opposing camps … two extremely broad ideological camps, both of which encompass the traditional political division into left and right. Let’s call camp number one “the Normals” (i.e., those who support and conform to the values and ideology of global capitalism, regardless of whether they identify as conservatives, liberals, neoliberals, neoconservatives, or anything else). Let’s call camp number two “the Extremists” (i.e., those opposing global capitalism, or not conforming to its ideology, regardless of whether they identify as socialists, communists, anarchists, fascists, anti-fascists, jihadists, or whatever).
>>>

Apr 23 12:42

Russian Collusion" Hits a Wall

Apr 23 10:56

Trump May Be Involved In 1956 Lemonade Stand Scandal, Mueller Investigation Finds

Special counsel’s office has also discovered irregularities in tax filings for a newspaper route president had in 1958

Apr 22 08:10

DNC Files Lawsuit Alleging Nation Should Never, Ever Stop Focusing On 2016 Election

Demanding greater accountability for the race’s outcome, the Democratic National Committee reportedly filed a multimillion-dollar lawsuit Friday alleging that the nation should never, ever stop focusing on the 2016 presidential election. “Our lawsuit lays out, in no uncertain terms, that the nation should never under any circumstances move on from the 2016 election results,” said DNC chairman Tom Perez, adding that the 66-page lawsuit filed in a New York federal court asserts that the American people must remain solely preoccupied with every little goddamn detail from the 2016 presidential race. “We’re calling on WikiLeaks, Russia, and Trump campaign officials to join the Democratic Party in our efforts to spend the next several years prioritizing endless fucking discussions about potential election interference and what that means for democracy.

Webmaster's Commentary: 

This is The Onion, but close enough to reality that I decided to post it.

Apr 21 09:20

How Yulia and Sergei Skripal (and their cat) Saved the World! A Synopsis of the Attack on Syria.

By Brett Redmayne-Titley

This past Saturday, we all discovered that the latest triumvirate of self-serving, sadistic and socially challenged world leaders (US/UK/FR) had suffered a storied defeat…one caused by two little pigs – guinea pigs really – and one black cat...

Apr 17 09:32

THE HORROR OF NOT BEING ON FACEBOOK

The horror dating story everyone dreads.

Apr 16 17:36

Brave 'dogs of war' fighting at gate

This is a bit like the self designated P3 taking on Russia in Syria :)

Apr 16 10:57

New Ben Garrison comic is brilliant.

Comey Pyle - by Ben Garrison

Apr 14 13:21

Jaysh al-Islam militants call US-led strikes on Syria “farce” – reports

The Jaysh al-Islam militants’ leader Muhammad Allush reportedly expressed indignation of the US-led strikes via Twitter and called it a “farce.”

Apr 13 05:18

Holocaust ‘Orphan’ Dr. Ruth Responds to Millennial Ignorance About Nazi Atrocities

On Israel’s Holocaust Remembrance Day Thursday, Jewish Americans were confronted with sobering statistics based on a survey done by Schoen Consulting, commissioned by The Conference on Jewish Material Claims Against Germany. Nearly one-third of Americans in general and 41 percent of millennial Americans think “substantially less” than 6 million Jews were murdered in the Holocaust, the survey found. Further, two-thirds of millennials surveyed could not identify Auschwitz.
Note: This is spite of laws telling people what they have to believe (the lies). Dr. Ruth is the one who gave lessons on oral sex by comparing it to licking an ice cream cone. Nuff said!

Apr 12 07:50

13 People Who Don't Seem To Understand That Things Cost Money

Webmaster addition: I get this all the time. People want me to do computer animations and visual effects for their film projects because they can "make me famous." :)

Apr 11 12:39

Tom Lehrer - So Long, Mom (A Song for World War III) - with intro - widescreen

Apr 11 08:46

New MAGA Hat

Apr 10 09:30

Police Department Vows To Arrest Winter For Staying Around

A New York police department “arrested” winter Friday for sticking around for so long.

The Depew Police Department sent out a Facebook post notifying winter that it had been placed under arrest, reports the Associated Press.

The police department said winter had the “right to remain silent” and that if winter cooperated with them, the department would “look past” winter’s “past transgressions.”

“Any further snow you produce will be held against you in a court of law. You have the right to an attorney, but only if you turn in the groundhog that predicted six more weeks of winter,” the department wrote in a Facebook post. “If you are willing to work with us, we are willing to look past your most recent transgressions over the course of this past week. The choice is yours.”

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