HUMOR AND SATIRE | WHAT REALLY HAPPENED


HUMOR AND SATIRE

May 10 11:04

You Won’t Believe What Bernie Does to Hillary in This Video

It’s surprising this video was even allowed to be put up on YouTube at all, let alone that user cooljunkproductions didn’t get a visit from the Secret Service for it…

May 10 09:15

TOONS FOR A TOOSDAY ~~ THE LATEST SAUDI CRISIS

May 08 12:00

Church Lady Eulogizes Ted Cruz Failed Presidential Run

Saturday Night Live last night dusted off Dana Carvey and his classic Church Lady, with a big assist from former cast member Darrell Hammond, to assess last week’s developments in the presidential race.>>>

May 08 11:22

I'm A Denier

May 08 00:54

Congress Cuts Enlisted Pay To Fund F-35 Stereo System

“We realized that flying just isn’t as cool unless you can listen to Kenny Loggins while shooting down enemy MiGs.”

May 06 08:54

WEEK’S END IN TOONS ~~ SYRIAN CEASE FARCE

May 04 22:33

Comedian Dennis Miller: 'Ivanka For Vice President'

'If Trump Wants The Women's Vote, He Should Pick Ivanka As VP'

In a 3-minute tour de force, Dennis Miller starts on Trump vs. Clinton and ends with a liberal takedown for the ages. Miller riffs and barely stops to breathe.

Hillary, the next President of Mexico, is annihilated. And Ivanka, imagine what she would do to pasty-faced Congress folk during negotiations. They will forget how to speak English. She is a knockout, 6 feet 3 inches in heels, and trained by Trump since she could talk.

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May 03 16:53

Caption Obvious rides Trump - move to Canada theme

We’ve all heard the election-year promises and threats before from celebrities, saying they’ll move to Canada or some other foreign nation if the candidate they don’t like becomes president of the United States.

Now, Hotels.com is looking to cash in on that theme.

It is employing its Captain Obvious mascot to coax people into traveling to Canada before transplanting their lives there.

Hillary for prosecution, not president! Join the sizzling campaign to put Mrs. Clinton where she really belongs

On Twitter Tuesday, Captain Obvious posted a message saying, “Is Canada starting to sound like a good option? Why not make a trip North before November? Be a tourist before becoming a resident.”

Read more at http://www.wnd.com/2016/05/capt-obvious-rides-trump-move-to-canada-the...

May 03 10:29

Comedian Bill Burr: 'Hillary Clinton Is A Lying Sack Of Shit'

New from Bill Burr. This is great stuff.

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May 02 12:44

Heidi Cruz responds to people who call her husband the Zodiac Killer

Heidi spent Monday morning traveling across Indiana in support of her husband’s presidential campaign. At a cafe in Carmel, Yahoo News asked for her reaction to a series of jokes that Comedy Central host Larry Wilmore made at the White House Correspondents’ dinner on Saturday night, where he repeatedly called her husband “the Zodiac Killer.”

“Well, I’ve been married to him for 15 years, and I know pretty well who he is, so it doesn’t bother me at all. There’s a lot of garbage out there,” Heidi said.

There is a popular Internet meme where people have asked whether Ted Cruz is the infamous Zodiac Killer, who was responsible for a string of unsolved murders and taunting letters to law enforcement in California during the late 1960s and early ’70s.>>>

(* http://esq.h-cdn.co/assets/16/07/980x490/landscape-1455915773-cruz-zod... )

May 02 09:38

The POTUS roasts the GOP in an unforgiving comedy presentation

President Barack Obama, A.K.A. Barry, gave a rather comedic appearance at Nerd Prom Saturday night, roasting virtually the entire top tier of the GOP.

May 01 13:50

HERE ARE THE FUNNIEST JOKES FROM LAST NIGHT'S WHITE HOUSE CORRESPONDENTS DINNER

This includes the clip of Obama busting on Hillary for her Goldman Sachs speeches, in case you haven't seen it yet.

Obama is a better comedian than he is President. He's actually pretty funny.

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Apr 30 15:18

SATURDAY NIGHT COMEDY: Triumph The Insult Comic Dog Takes On Hillary Clinton's Cankles

Triumph went to the Democratic debate to question the candidates. Here he asks DNC Chair Debbie Wasserman Schultz whether she rigged the schedule to favor the coronation of Hillary. The lesson learned here: don't ever try to outjoke a comedian.

This is seriously funny work. I can't give away any of the jokes.

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Apr 30 05:38

ALTERNATIVE SATURDAY CARTOONS: APRIL 30, 2016

Here is another round of Saturday cartoons from Snippits. Enjoy!!!

Apr 28 20:38

Satanists are furious that Boehner compared Ted Cruz to the Dark Lord

On Wednesday night, former House Speaker John Boehner bluntly called GOP candidate Ted Cruz “Lucifer in the flesh.”

When asked for his opinion about the Texas senator, Boehner said, “I have Democrat friends and Republican friends. I get along with almost everyone, but I have never worked with a more miserable son of a bitch in my life.”

It turns out that the Satanic Temple agrees with Boehner’s sentiments — but they said there’s no way Cruz is the living incarnate of Satan.

Apr 28 15:29

Dear Doctor: How to Avoid Blame for Causing Autism

By Jon Rappoport

As the truth about horrendous vaccine-damage to babies emerges and spreads, doctors need advice on how to avoid blame. So this article is offered as a public service to the medical profession.

Dear Doctor, your best defense is: “I’m practicing proper medicine.” Always remember that. Don’t wobble. Don’t explain. Just keep saying it. It works. After all, you have decades of propaganda behind you. Make those lies operate for you. Stand on them. It’s your best strategy.

In your heart of hearts, you know you’re damaging the brains and nervous systems of many babies. But don’t give in. Just keep vaccinating them. Just keep the basic mantra going: “I’m practicing proper medicine.” Under no circumstances should you let conscience be your guide. That would put you in a world of trouble...

Apr 28 10:05

This is What a Social Justice Warrior Looks Like

Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you, the NEW face of feminism and social justice.....

Apr 27 14:56

“Time Traveler”: Unearthed 1500 Year Old Mummy Wearing… Adidas?

Ancient and odd: a mummified woman found in Mongolia appears to be wearing modern footwear.

Read more at SHTFplan.com

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Apr 27 11:48

NYC Book Launch, Wednesday April 27th TONIGHT!!!!!!

GILAD ATZMON / ENZO APICELLA - A to Zion - The Definitive Israeli Lexicon
Wednesday April 27th, 2016 - 6 - 9 pm

Enzo Apicella and Gilad Atzmon, invite you to the NYC launch of their book.

INFINITO STUDIO- GALLERY

79 Leonard Street, New York, NY 10013

http://www.infinitonyc.com/#!blank/lvedy

Join us for a an evening of literature, cartoons and live music!

World famous cartoonist Enzo Apicella and Jazz star Gilad Atzmon have given birth to a new truth-telling satirical book. This book is funny, brutal, ludicrous and occasionally sad.

Buy it today before it is banned!

Apr 25 19:26

Now This Is EXACTLY How Trump Should Speak To Reporters

PROFANITY WARNING

This is some funny shit.

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Apr 25 13:45

A to Zion - The Definitive Israeli Lexicon

INFINITO STUDIO- GALLERY

April 27th, 2016 - 6-9 pm

Join us for a an evening of literature, cartoons and live music!

World famous cartoonist Enzo Apicella and Jazz star Gilad Atzmon have given birth to a new truth-telling satirical book. This book is funny, brutal, ludicrous and occasionally sad.

Buy it today before it is banned!

A to Zion - The definitive Israeli Lexicon is a fictitious alphabetic satirical lexicon. A is for Anti-Semites and for Arabs, B is for BBC and Britain, and so on for the entire alphabet. This book is for everyone.

It contains important and eye-opening definitions like:
Bar Mitzvah – the moment when the male Jew accepts that his foreskin is not going to grow back
Canaan – the land of milking money
Catch 22 – free ham
Jewish mother – Just like a Jewish father but with balls
Water – is vital for all known forms of life except Palestinians

Webmaster's Commentary: 

Gilad's book is very funny. Please try to get to the opening if you are in New York, and buy his book to support his peace activism.

Apr 25 12:27

Dr. James Sears Denies the Holocaust and Praises Hitler on Canadian TV

An Ottawa human rights lawyer has filed a human rights violation over the delivery of Dr. James Sears’ “racist and “anti-Semitic” newspaper. James responds to the allegations.

Apr 23 06:52

ALTERNATIVE SATURDAY CARTOONS: APRIL 23, 2016

Here is another round of Saturday cartoons from Snippits. Enjoy!!! :-)

Apr 22 12:46

The Truth about reptilians by George Carlin

Apr 20 17:16

COMEDY CENTRAL: Harriet Tubman Leads An Army Of Bad Bitches

COMEDY CENTRAL DRUNK HISTORY

This is damn funny.

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Apr 20 09:15

Goldman Sachs Fined: A Closer Look

Apr 20 08:39

WATCH: Bulldozers Battle It Out On The Streets Of China

There really is only one conclusion that can be drawn from the incident: We need common sense Bulldozer Control Laws.

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Apr 19 12:46

LATE SHOW COMEDY: Seth Myers Annihilates Goldman Sachs

THE NON-PUNISHMENT OF GOLDMAN SACHS

This is really good.

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Apr 19 10:54

BREAKING! Illegal immigrants working on plan to get past Donald Trump's wall!

Apr 19 09:56

Breaking News: This Is Where Donald Trump Grows His Hair (4 pics )

If you ever wondered where Donald Trump grows his hair, these secret photos reveal this crucial information. His hair has been located in one of the northernmost cities in the world, namely in Tromsø, Norway.

Apr 18 14:53

Pam Geller’s Islamification

beware - algebra, algorithms, astronomy, surgery, soap, shampoo, bathing, coffee, and other Islamic threats! :-)

Apr 18 09:17

MONDAY’S TOONS ~~ #ImpeachmentDay IN BRAZIL

Apr 17 11:05

Hillary Clinton Explained in One Picture - America is Waking Up

#democraticwhore is trending on Twitter. Nuff said

Apr 17 10:25

Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster Holds First Official Marriage

Legally recognized as a religious organization in New Zealand, the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster cooked up its first official wedding this weekend. Marriage is the latest step members of this untraditional spiritual group have taken to be recognized as belonging to a legitimate, religious entity.

Toby Ricketts and Marianna Young of New Zealand got married this weekend, and they owe eternal happiness to a divine mass of noodles in the sky.

Apr 17 08:59

Latest Ben Garrison Cartoon?

Webmaster's Commentary: 

Some great cartoons you will never see in the establishment media!

Apr 15 22:55

TONIGHT SHOW: Watch Trump's Phone Call With Ted Cruz

CRUZ IS CRINGEWORTHY

Ted Cruz is a comedic imbecile playing himself.

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Apr 15 12:00

Scene from Me Myself and Irene

Webmaster's Commentary: 

Warning - profanity.

And yes, he WAS murdered! :)

Apr 15 10:06

FRIDAY’S TOON ~~ ISRAELI ARMS SALES DURING RWANDAN GENOCIDE TO REMAIN SEALED

Supreme Court denies attorney’s petition to reveal defense exports to the African country, citing risk to national security, foreign relations

Apr 14 22:54

Paul Ryan: Totally Not Running

yeah, sure the pilgrimage to Israel and blessings from the bankster godfathers mean nothing

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Apr 12 09:06

TOOSDAY’S TOONS ~~ THE MERCHANT OF CAIRO

Apr 12 07:00

Just Flasking Ridiculous!

By Jack Perry
April 12, 2016
Hey, did you know in Texas, it’s illegal to possess an Erlenmeyer flask without a permit from the government? What’s an Erlenmeyer flask? It’s that glass conical-bottom, narrow-necked flask you see in all the science labs. Remember high school science class? So why is a piece of science lab equipment illegal without das paperwerken from das government? Because it’s allegedly used to manufacture illegal drugs. Well, gosh, so are a lot of things! But this is a thing I have mentioned before here and now would like to expand on: Local government is often the most tyrannical because they can pass laws faster than the federal government can spend a billion dollars.
Webmaster addition: I use an Erlenmeyer flask to make nano-silver!

Apr 11 16:03

Thank You. Love, ISIS

a love letter from ISIS

Apr 11 16:00

#Pray for [blank]

simplify your search for appropriate levels of concern for the next false-flag event

Apr 11 15:56

Hiding, Secret and Shell

an ad for the 1% to hide their ill-gotten gains :-D

Apr 11 15:05

Prime Minister David Cameron for sale on eBay!

Condition:For parts or not working

Apr 11 09:20

SNL Cold Open: Hillary Clinton Addresses Her Losing Streak

Saturday Night Live goes after Hillary.

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Apr 10 09:39

Comedian Bill Burr On The Election: 'I Call BULLSHIT, No One Is Leaving The Country If Trump Wins'

"Where are they gonna go? Every other country is careful about who they let in."

This is outstanding.

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Apr 10 09:13

START THE WEEK WITH A NEW TOON ~~ THE ISLAMOPHOBIC COURTROOM

Apr 09 09:19

US Homeland Security CSI: Agents Dick Strong & Fannie Goode bring a 9/11 conspiracy theorist-pedophile to justice!

*hyperlinks live at source*

hat tip: Washington’s Blog

(satire): For those who aren’t addicted as I am to this hit TV show: here are highlights from this week’s episode! Our two favorite Special Agents in the whole world, Dick Strong and Fannie Goode, discuss their new case: a murdered man who believed in conspiracy theories:

Scene 1: Dick and Fannie are in a living room standing over a dead man’s body (both 30-something, incredibly good-looking, confident, and smart). Three cops take pictures and collect evidence. The walls are covered with unorganized conspiracy theory pictures.

Dick: (with disgust) Conspiracy theorist (and here). Judging by the pictures, this guy believed we didn’t go to the moon, Elvis is alive, and aliens.

Fannie: And worse. Stuff like 9/11 was an inside job.

D: So he was a total nut-job.

F: Yup.

D: What killed him?

F: Woman’s high-heel shoe through the eye and into his brain. Also used to smash his testicles.

Apr 09 07:36

Last Week Tonight with John Oliver: Congressional Fundraising

Apr 09 07:28

Hillary Clinton Dodges Truth Serum

Apr 08 10:08

#PanamaPapers ~~ SNOWDEN CALLS ON CAMERON TO RESIGN

Apr 08 09:44

Federal Prison Blues

Apr 07 08:36

#PanamaPapers ~~ TOON OF THE DAY — AIRING THE LAUNDRY

Apr 06 13:01

"KKK Member With Whip" Panics College Over Racist Assault... Oh, Wait. It's a Priest With Beads

Why PC will destroy the world: These confused young adults are so fearful that they are hallucinating attacks of “hate speech” and hurt feelings.

"a person saw white robes and what looked to them like a weapon, got scared (rightfully so), warned people, warned staff, which in turn caused me to warn my residents because I need to look out for my residents, which in turn made it spread.

“Then my residents, terrified, come running to me, saying yeah the report must be true, they saw him and couldn‘t believe there was a klansmember with a whip. And I see this picture. It’s a priest. With a rosary.

Read more at SHTFplan.com

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Apr 04 09:13

7 Reasons 9/11 Could NOT Have Been An Inside Job

Below, we’ll show that 9/11 could NOT have been an inside job …

Apr 01 09:19

DARPA Unveils Game-Changing High-Tech Weapon

Apr 01 08:58

Hillary and Bill Clinton- Twerk Fest- rapping

Apr 01 08:54

Ted Nugent Just Made A SHOCKING Announcement – Endorses THIS CANDIDATE!

He’s tired of the hotly-contested Republican presidential primary, and is ready to jump ship. That’s why he’s officially supporting Hillary Clinton for President. Nugent has announced he has “seen the light” and his endorsement is going viral!

She’s right, there is no reason for anyone to earn their own way, the government’s #1 job is to redistribute the earnings of the cheaters who startup all those evil corporations & earn their own way. She’s correct when she reaches out to the world by opening our US borders to the needy & downtrodden to come here and get their fair share & enrich our lives with their wonderful cultural diversity. She will carryon the legacy of the great Barak Obama when he raises awareness that global warming is the real threat to our security & that ISL is the religion of peace. Go Hillary!

Webmaster's Commentary: 

Yes, it's an April Fool's joke!

Mar 28 11:14

CONGRESSMEN'S WAREHOUSE

Mar 26 10:40

Triumph the Insult Comic Dog Stalks Ted Cruz • Triumph on Hulu

Mar 25 06:29

It Cometh from the Pit:And Hath a Knout

Once upon a time there was a fairy kingdom that lived inside a place called The Beltway, and was surrounded on all four sides by a land called America. The Beltway was aligned with another kingdom called Manhattan, inhabited by disembodied heads that spoke from the walls of bars, and with with yet another closed kingdom called Hollywood, the abode of half-educated narcissists.

Mar 23 11:23

Humor - U.S. Justice Department Prosecutors Laugh Off the FBI’s Clinton Email Probe

Webmaster addition: Dear FBI (I know you are reading this website). You should read this article, because like all good satire it contains a lot of truth. If Hillary is not indicted and becomes President, she is going to take revenge on the FBI for daring to investigate her spying and scrape it out like a Halloween jack-o-lantern! That means your careers are toast ... unless by November Hillary is toast. You need to get the information on her crimes out to the public so that it will be obvious the White House is obstructing justice, itself an impeachable offence, forcing Obama and Lynch to do their jobs properly. Otherwise, you better start polishing your resumes right now, and in this economy, good luck finding another job as well-paid and cushy as what you have now.

Think about your families. Think about your mortgage payments. Think about your car payments. Think about your future.

Then think about how Bill Clinton "cleaned house" when he became President.

Mar 23 10:18

Donald Trump: Move the Palestinians to Puerto Rico

I'm in a silly mood today! Yes this is Satire!

NEW YORK – Billionaire Republican presidential contender Donald Trump has unveiled a controversial peace proposal for the strife-torn holy land: give the U.S. island territory of Puerto Rico to the Palestinians as compensation for surrendering to Israel.

According to the so-called “Trump Solution,” rolled out by the outspoken business magnate at a Manhattan press conference, the U.S. would fund the relocation of all four or so million Palestinians......

Mar 23 10:08

UNBROKEN TRADITIONS IN GOVERNMENT HIRING

Once upon a time there was a king who? wanted to go fishing.

Mar 22 10:04

ELECTION YEAR ONE LINERS

Mar 22 10:03

EVER WONDER WHY THEY SAY ‘YANKEE GO HOME’?

Mar 18 16:29

Let’s Be Honest, Most of Us Simply Can’t Stand Ted Cruz

Even if you agree with some of what Ted Cruz has to say, let’s be honest… can you really stand him? Could you stand to listen to him lead America into more Middle Eastern wars like he has vowed to do for four or possibly even eight years? Not even as a president but as a person… Be honest now (and no, this has nothing to do with his Bush past and ties, his Goldman Sachs CFR North American Union-endorsing wife, his crazy pastor dad, or that booger he ate).
(read more)

Mar 18 10:29

FRIDAY’S TOONS ~~ WIKILEAKS ARCHIVES HELLARY’S EMAILS

Mar 17 10:54

Now Germans DEMAND we leave the EU: 'We've never even liked the British'

In the sketch the ‘comedians’ throw further jibes at the Royal family, blast Britain’s so-called “special treatment" from the EU and mock the UK for being too tough on migrants.

The shocking video, which has gone viral, then sees them rejoice at Britain’s proposed Brexit and dub the UK the “Planet of the Island Apes” - much to the roaring delight of the baying studio audience.

Presenter Oliver Welke starts off by blasting Britain’s "special treatment" in the union. He said: “The British! For centuries they pick the cherries. They pay less fees. They are allowed to have real money instead of Euros.

“One special treatment after another.”

He continues by saying "we never liked you" before adding: “Why do we wait till 2016? Can’t we get rid of the English now?”

Mar 14 15:11

Burglars for Gun Control! This Hilarious Parody Illustrates How Ridiculous Gun Control Is

This is hilarious. What better way to illustrate how illogical gun control is.
(read more)

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