HUMOR AND SATIRE | WHAT REALLY HAPPENED

HUMOR AND SATIRE

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Jun 24 11:46

Motivational speaker Robbins' coal walk burns more than 30

OOH! OOWWY OUCH!

DALLAS (AP) — More than 30 people who attended an event with motivational speaker Tony Robbins have been treated for burns after Robbins encouraged them to walk on hot coals as a way of conquering their fears, Dallas fire officials said.

Five people were taken to a hospital Thursday night, while the rest were treated at the scene for burns to their feet and lower extremities, Dallas Fire-Rescue spokesman Jason Evans said.

The hot coals were spread outside the Kay Bailey Hutchison Convention Center as part of a four-day Robbins seminar called "Unleash the Power Within."

Jun 21 07:28

wheels finally come off the Guardian’s Russophobia

The Graun’s latest piece of Russophobia is so flamingly, screamingly ridiculous, there’s no need to deconstruct it….

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Jun 17 20:56

Dr. Henry Makow on "Why Women Aren't Getting Loved"

"Ladies, if you want love and marriage, act like a potential wife and mother, not a slut... WOMEN'S SELF DEFEATING BEHAVIOR - Young women act like sex is the only way to attract men. They try to parlay sex appeal into lasting love and family. This is self-defeating. It is sending men the wrong message. Ladies, if you want love and family, do not present in sexual terms. Why compete on the same terms as practically every other young woman? No wonder you're dumped! You're interchangeable. Instead present yourself as potential life partners: wives and mothers. In other words, dress modestly and prepare to be indispensable to the man and children you will love. Learn the skills of a homemaker and helpmate. You will discover a large pool of quality men who are looking for you."

Jun 17 00:40

Antisemetic tire of death


The tire didn't choose thug life, God chose it for him

Jun 15 21:13

Japanese Trump commercial

Jun 15 14:43

Adam Corolla On Welfare, Politics And Over-Sensitive Liberals

Adam Corolla with Dave Rubin last week on taxes, welfare, family, Gavin Newsom, Hillary Clinton, politics, growing up poor, and his accidental path to becoming a conservative.

Funny stuff...

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Jun 14 09:44

With A Female President Everything Will Be Better...

This is satire well done...

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Jun 14 08:57

Hillary Clinton is Evil! (REMIX)

Jun 13 16:26

It Takes a Woman

Jun 11 10:10

This Might Be Funny....by Charlie Reese

By Charlie Reese: A former columnist of the Orlando Sentinel.

This might be funny if it weren’t so true. Be sure to read all the way to the end:

Tax his land,
Tax his bed,
Tax the table,
At which he’s fed.........

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Jun 08 22:24

Houthi forces seize 58 kilos of hashish bound for Saudi Arabia

The Houthis are gettin the Saudis were it really hurts. They ripped off their hash! Must be some really good $h!t cause the Saudis hit em back with airstrikes!

The Houthi forces caught a group of smugglers in the Saada Governorate on Wednesday and confiscated 58 kilos of their hashish that was bound for Saudi Arabia.

In response to the seizure of these drugs, the Saudi Air Force launched several airstrikes over the provincial capital of the Saada Governorate.

Jun 07 07:43

‘Grimy business’: John Oliver makes TV history, forgives $15m in medical debt he purchased

In a scathing attack on the lack of regulations in the debt-collection industry, HBO comedy host John Oliver announced that a debt collection agency formed by his show would forgive $15 million in medical debts held by about 9,000 people.

Webmaster's Commentary: 

Way to go, John!

Jun 06 04:36

Infowars Paul Joseph Watson: There Is No Jewish Influence Anywhere

Infowars' Paul Joseph Watson was asked a question recently about Jewish Influence in the media. His response is laughable and is being mocked worldwide. Please share this widely.

"People who are obsessed with Jews controlling the world never seem to present any evidence. I mean , I read the news everyday, I track narratives that the main stream media comes out with. I don't see a big Jewish influence. I mean , Jewish people are not really that present. I don't really notice them anywhere," Watstein replies

Jun 05 12:01

Offbeat: Men raid vegan café, pelt patrons with meat

In Georgia – the country, not the state – men raided a vegan café and pelted patrons with meat. "Some of them," the story says, " . . . were wearing sausage necklaces," which seems to be a bold and possibly odoriferous, bacteria-prone fashion choice. Then a brawl broke out and the assailants escaped into the night. The whole episode, the café owners say, shows just how intolerant people are. Meanwhile, in Los Angeles, owners of a vegan café say they've been getting death threats since they decided to start eating meat again. Talk about your food fights.

Jun 05 10:44

NEW TOON ~~ CALLING THE KETTLE BLACK

Jun 04 14:01

Welcome to the Future: Your ABC Guide to Newspeak

In these hectic, shifting modern times it can be hard to keep track of exactly what modern journalists are trying to say. As we move beyond the archaic concept of language, into a more enlightened age where meaning is subjective and feeling-based, we have to learn to embrace a more sensitive and expressive English lexicon. To that end we present a handy guide – an interpreter’s bible, for tourists in this Brave New World.

Banks
Highly trustworthy and peerlessly benign institutions who have total control over the value, production and distribution of your currency. They help drive the economy by creating fake money, out of thin air, and lending it to you at high rates of interest. It should be noted that they insist the money you give them back is real.

Billionaire
An American oligarch.

Corruption
Something which never happens here and always happens over there.

Conspiracy
Something which never happens here and always happens over there.

Conspiracy Theorist
A man, woman or child who believes (falsely) that a “conspiracy” could happen here.

Jun 01 18:49

A Message from Queen Hillary

For those of us who remember the Clinton years, we have understood for decades that Hillary – from the bottom of her heart – really, truly believes that the world would be a better place if only she were ruler of it. She is sincerely dismayed that We the (Little) People do not have the capacity to understand her great mind and turn to her for our every need as we serve her.

Now I give you a word from Queen Hillary:

As you know, my dear people, the last year for me has been an annus horribilus. The Royal House of Clinton has been tormented by questions about our handling of finances and subjected to tiresome questions about the tragic events in Benghazi–in the furthest regions of our empire. And, sadly, also questions about my Royal e-mails.

Jun 01 17:12

Hillary Clinton Emails Fact or Fiction? In Her Own Words

Hillary - In Her Own Words - Fact or Fiction? - Email Statements. Contradictions? Hillary Email Scandal? Did she break the rules? Is She Trustworthy?

Jun 01 15:12

Hillary Clinton On Same Sex Marriage In Her Own Words

Hillary - In Her Own Words - Fact or Fiction? - Email Statements. Contradictions? Hillary Email Scandal? Did she break the rules? Is She Trustworthy?

May 28 10:25

Police Across U.S. Try to Soften Image With Elaborate Dance-Off Videos

If police want to challenge each other to dance-offs in their spare time, that's none of my business. But considering that most cops don't have personal access to cheerleading-squads and explosives, it looks like departments are spending municipal money (and time) on these ploys to drum up good PR for themselves. The AP reports that law enforcement's please-go-viral videos "have been steadily getting more elaborate."

May 28 06:25

U.S. Condemned For Pre-Emptive Use Of Hillary Clinton Against Pakistan

May 27 06:58

HillaryForPrison2016

May 26 07:58

The Mexico Way

Clearly, Trump is accusing the Mexican ruling class—the politicians and billionaires like Carlos Slim, the largest single shareholder of The New York Times—of dumping their surplus population on the United States.

That Mexico’s elites are outmaneuvering America’s leaders strikes Trump as a bad thing. Yet, to the American media, the very existence of a Mexican ruling caste with interests different from those of American citizens doesn’t seem to register as a concept with which they are able to deal. Sure, Mexico is a country of over 120 million people that shares a 1,950-mile border with the U.S., but it’s not, you know, Israel when it comes to being important to American interests.

May 24 11:09

Holy Taco’s Flowchart to Help You Determine What Religion You Should Follow

Not sure what religion to follow? Holy Taco has created this handy flowchart to help you make up your mind.

May 24 09:03

Lewis Black on Wall Street Bankers

May 24 08:34

FUNNY WISDOM OF OUR BEST FRIENDS

May 22 16:14

Squids and the Inner Light of Being

It was an epochal moment for the military and perhaps for all of society. Screwing up her courage, Air Force First Lieutenant Kara-Ann McBee walked into her commander’s office on the D-Ring of the Pentagon and announced that she was a giant squid.

The commander, Colonel R. Boyd Gittim, was stunned. “Squids have lots of arms. Ten, I think.”
“Yessir, ten. But…you see, sir, I feel their presence. Like ectoplasm or something.”

May 20 09:18

Is Homeland Security’s Royals ‘panty raid’ at Birdies turning into Pantygate?

The raid on Birdies was initiated by feds so local agents could “get their numbers up,” documents newly released to Vice Sports suggestBY ERIC ADLER

eadler@kcstar.com
Talk about a Royal embarrassment.

In October 2014, the actions of two Kansas City agents from the Department of Homeland Security generated critical national headlines as the Royals were making their run to become American League champions. The agents, both with guns on their hips, entered the tiny Birdies lingerie shop in the Crossroads on Oct. 21, 2014, on what quickly was dubbed a federal “panty raid.”

May 20 08:36

Revenge of the Murdochs

Happy Friday! Enjoy a little "Politically Incorrect" humor!

May 19 20:58

Trigger Me Timbers!

May 19 16:52

COMEDY: SNL Skewers Hillary Clinton And Her Secret Email Server

This is good comedy...They did not go easy on Queen Hillary in this skit.

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May 19 11:56

Hillary Graphics

Webmaster's Commentary: 

I keep getting requests about some of the graphics I have created for the various Hillary Clinton scandals, especially requests or the full size versions, so here they are all in one gallery. This is not all of them, but the ones most asked about. Feel free to copy and send around.

May 19 11:34

Oh-My-Gosh I Sang "Where Do I Begin" (Love Story) To My Wife In Our Den & Got A Copyright Claim From A Corporation On YouTube 2 Days Later

This is hilarious, if not a bit absurd. The other day I posted a cute story of a couple we met at Newport Beach, who were getting engaged at that very moment in Corona Del Mar. As the couple kissed they were videotaped by some friends, and I couldn't resist but start singing 'Where Do I Begin,' a classic sappy love song by Andy Williams, also done Johnny Mathis and probably hundreds of other singers. So I post a video of me from our den singing this song to my wife. Next thing I know I get threatening e-mails about copyright infringement! Ha ha! Only in America! The corporation said they will let me keep up the song if I agree to share revenue with them.

May 18 20:31

The Iranian Government Really Believes Kim Kardashian Is a Spy

Kim Kardashian… a spy?
Seriously?

This is someone who took a selfie with Hillary Clinton to endorse her and spelled “president” in “Hillary for President” wrong.

May 18 08:34

MIDWEEK TOON ~~ NETANYAHU’S REACTION TO PARIS PEACE PLAN

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

May 17 06:29

Edgy Renegade Jennifer Lawrence Risks Hollywood Career to Speak Out

Edgy renegade Jennifer Lawrence just risked her entire Hollywood career to speak out on a topic so controversial it's sure to get her blacklisted from the industry and shunned at parties.

You won't believe what she said.

May 17 00:43

Facebook and Dominos Are More Reliable at Finding You than 9-1-1 in an Emergency

We teach little kids from the time that they are very small to dial 9-1-1 for an emergency. The sad part about this (besides possibly having your dog shot for no reason) is that, in an era where the majority of people are using cell phones, 9-1-1 can suffer an accuracy rate of just 10% on being able to correctly locate someone when they desperately need emergency services most.

Read more at TheDailySheeple.com

May 16 12:31

Let The Old Guys Do It!

I am over 60 and the Armed Forces thinks I'm too old to track down terrorists! They have got the whole thing backwards!

May 15 08:36

COMEDY: Trump Clinton Debate Parody

For Adults Only -- Several Raunchy Jokes

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May 14 19:47

COMEDY: Seth Myers Annihilates Goldman Sachs

Saturday Night Comedy

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May 14 13:32

Anti-Hillary Billboard In North Carolina Is Stroke Of Genius

This is damn funny...

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May 14 12:53

COMEDY: How To Move To Canada If Trump Becomes President

Straight comedy for libtards. This is really funny.

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May 14 11:21

#HandCuffHillary (Ode to Crooked Hillary)

May 13 15:15

Piece of the action

Piece of the Action Star Trek Episode.
The way things are going we wont have any action for Bela to get a piece of.

May 13 10:43

Monty Python's The life of Brian - I want to be a woman

May 12 17:18

cthulhu for america.com

No lives matter!
Embrace the devastation!
Don't vote for the lesser evils when the greatest evil is Cthulhu!

May 10 12:34

COMEDY: SNL Lampoons Hillary Clinton In 'President Barbie'

'President Barbie Clinton' isn't the hit Mattel thought she would be.

May 10 11:08

Cops Charge Scottish Man With Hate Crime for Training His Girlfriend’s Pug to Do a Nazi Salute As a Joke

This really happened.

In what was supposed to be a joke aimed at his girlfriend, a 28-year-old Scottish man trained her pug to do a Nazi salute and has been charged with a hate crime for it after posting the resulting “offensive material” online (aka: improper use of electronic communications under the Communications Act 2003).

May 10 11:04

You Won’t Believe What Bernie Does to Hillary in This Video

It’s surprising this video was even allowed to be put up on YouTube at all, let alone that user cooljunkproductions didn’t get a visit from the Secret Service for it…

May 10 09:15

TOONS FOR A TOOSDAY ~~ THE LATEST SAUDI CRISIS

May 08 12:00

Church Lady Eulogizes Ted Cruz Failed Presidential Run

Saturday Night Live last night dusted off Dana Carvey and his classic Church Lady, with a big assist from former cast member Darrell Hammond, to assess last week’s developments in the presidential race.>>>

May 08 11:22

I'm A Denier

May 08 00:54

Congress Cuts Enlisted Pay To Fund F-35 Stereo System

“We realized that flying just isn’t as cool unless you can listen to Kenny Loggins while shooting down enemy MiGs.”

May 06 08:54

WEEK’S END IN TOONS ~~ SYRIAN CEASE FARCE

May 04 22:33

Comedian Dennis Miller: 'Ivanka For Vice President'

'If Trump Wants The Women's Vote, He Should Pick Ivanka As VP'

In a 3-minute tour de force, Dennis Miller starts on Trump vs. Clinton and ends with a liberal takedown for the ages. Miller riffs and barely stops to breathe.

Hillary, the next President of Mexico, is annihilated. And Ivanka, imagine what she would do to pasty-faced Congress folk during negotiations. They will forget how to speak English. She is a knockout, 6 feet 3 inches in heels, and trained by Trump since she could talk.

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May 03 16:53

Caption Obvious rides Trump - move to Canada theme

We’ve all heard the election-year promises and threats before from celebrities, saying they’ll move to Canada or some other foreign nation if the candidate they don’t like becomes president of the United States.

Now, Hotels.com is looking to cash in on that theme.

It is employing its Captain Obvious mascot to coax people into traveling to Canada before transplanting their lives there.

Hillary for prosecution, not president! Join the sizzling campaign to put Mrs. Clinton where she really belongs

On Twitter Tuesday, Captain Obvious posted a message saying, “Is Canada starting to sound like a good option? Why not make a trip North before November? Be a tourist before becoming a resident.”

Read more at http://www.wnd.com/2016/05/capt-obvious-rides-trump-move-to-canada-the...

May 03 10:29

Comedian Bill Burr: 'Hillary Clinton Is A Lying Sack Of Shit'

New from Bill Burr. This is great stuff.

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May 02 12:44

Heidi Cruz responds to people who call her husband the Zodiac Killer

Heidi spent Monday morning traveling across Indiana in support of her husband’s presidential campaign. At a cafe in Carmel, Yahoo News asked for her reaction to a series of jokes that Comedy Central host Larry Wilmore made at the White House Correspondents’ dinner on Saturday night, where he repeatedly called her husband “the Zodiac Killer.”

“Well, I’ve been married to him for 15 years, and I know pretty well who he is, so it doesn’t bother me at all. There’s a lot of garbage out there,” Heidi said.

There is a popular Internet meme where people have asked whether Ted Cruz is the infamous Zodiac Killer, who was responsible for a string of unsolved murders and taunting letters to law enforcement in California during the late 1960s and early ’70s.>>>

(* http://esq.h-cdn.co/assets/16/07/980x490/landscape-1455915773-cruz-zod... )

May 02 09:38

The POTUS roasts the GOP in an unforgiving comedy presentation

President Barack Obama, A.K.A. Barry, gave a rather comedic appearance at Nerd Prom Saturday night, roasting virtually the entire top tier of the GOP.

May 01 13:50

HERE ARE THE FUNNIEST JOKES FROM LAST NIGHT'S WHITE HOUSE CORRESPONDENTS DINNER

This includes the clip of Obama busting on Hillary for her Goldman Sachs speeches, in case you haven't seen it yet.

Obama is a better comedian than he is President. He's actually pretty funny.

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Apr 30 15:18

SATURDAY NIGHT COMEDY: Triumph The Insult Comic Dog Takes On Hillary Clinton's Cankles

Triumph went to the Democratic debate to question the candidates. Here he asks DNC Chair Debbie Wasserman Schultz whether she rigged the schedule to favor the coronation of Hillary. The lesson learned here: don't ever try to outjoke a comedian.

This is seriously funny work. I can't give away any of the jokes.

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Apr 30 05:38

ALTERNATIVE SATURDAY CARTOONS: APRIL 30, 2016

Here is another round of Saturday cartoons from Snippits. Enjoy!!!

Apr 28 20:38

Satanists are furious that Boehner compared Ted Cruz to the Dark Lord

On Wednesday night, former House Speaker John Boehner bluntly called GOP candidate Ted Cruz “Lucifer in the flesh.”

When asked for his opinion about the Texas senator, Boehner said, “I have Democrat friends and Republican friends. I get along with almost everyone, but I have never worked with a more miserable son of a bitch in my life.”

It turns out that the Satanic Temple agrees with Boehner’s sentiments — but they said there’s no way Cruz is the living incarnate of Satan.

Apr 28 15:29

Dear Doctor: How to Avoid Blame for Causing Autism

By Jon Rappoport

As the truth about horrendous vaccine-damage to babies emerges and spreads, doctors need advice on how to avoid blame. So this article is offered as a public service to the medical profession.

Dear Doctor, your best defense is: “I’m practicing proper medicine.” Always remember that. Don’t wobble. Don’t explain. Just keep saying it. It works. After all, you have decades of propaganda behind you. Make those lies operate for you. Stand on them. It’s your best strategy.

In your heart of hearts, you know you’re damaging the brains and nervous systems of many babies. But don’t give in. Just keep vaccinating them. Just keep the basic mantra going: “I’m practicing proper medicine.” Under no circumstances should you let conscience be your guide. That would put you in a world of trouble...

Apr 28 10:05

This is What a Social Justice Warrior Looks Like

Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you, the NEW face of feminism and social justice.....

Apr 27 14:56

“Time Traveler”: Unearthed 1500 Year Old Mummy Wearing… Adidas?

Ancient and odd: a mummified woman found in Mongolia appears to be wearing modern footwear.

Read more at SHTFplan.com

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Apr 27 11:48

NYC Book Launch, Wednesday April 27th TONIGHT!!!!!!

GILAD ATZMON / ENZO APICELLA - A to Zion - The Definitive Israeli Lexicon
Wednesday April 27th, 2016 - 6 - 9 pm

Enzo Apicella and Gilad Atzmon, invite you to the NYC launch of their book.

INFINITO STUDIO- GALLERY

79 Leonard Street, New York, NY 10013

http://www.infinitonyc.com/#!blank/lvedy

Join us for a an evening of literature, cartoons and live music!

World famous cartoonist Enzo Apicella and Jazz star Gilad Atzmon have given birth to a new truth-telling satirical book. This book is funny, brutal, ludicrous and occasionally sad.

Buy it today before it is banned!

Apr 25 19:26

Now This Is EXACTLY How Trump Should Speak To Reporters

PROFANITY WARNING

This is some funny shit.

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Apr 25 13:45

A to Zion - The Definitive Israeli Lexicon

INFINITO STUDIO- GALLERY

April 27th, 2016 - 6-9 pm

Join us for a an evening of literature, cartoons and live music!

World famous cartoonist Enzo Apicella and Jazz star Gilad Atzmon have given birth to a new truth-telling satirical book. This book is funny, brutal, ludicrous and occasionally sad.

Buy it today before it is banned!

A to Zion - The definitive Israeli Lexicon is a fictitious alphabetic satirical lexicon. A is for Anti-Semites and for Arabs, B is for BBC and Britain, and so on for the entire alphabet. This book is for everyone.

It contains important and eye-opening definitions like:
Bar Mitzvah – the moment when the male Jew accepts that his foreskin is not going to grow back
Canaan – the land of milking money
Catch 22 – free ham
Jewish mother – Just like a Jewish father but with balls
Water – is vital for all known forms of life except Palestinians

Webmaster's Commentary: 

Gilad's book is very funny. Please try to get to the opening if you are in New York, and buy his book to support his peace activism.

Apr 25 12:27

Dr. James Sears Denies the Holocaust and Praises Hitler on Canadian TV

An Ottawa human rights lawyer has filed a human rights violation over the delivery of Dr. James Sears’ “racist and “anti-Semitic” newspaper. James responds to the allegations.

Apr 23 06:52

ALTERNATIVE SATURDAY CARTOONS: APRIL 23, 2016

Here is another round of Saturday cartoons from Snippits. Enjoy!!! :-)

Apr 22 12:46

The Truth about reptilians by George Carlin

Apr 20 17:16

COMEDY CENTRAL: Harriet Tubman Leads An Army Of Bad Bitches

COMEDY CENTRAL DRUNK HISTORY

This is damn funny.

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Apr 20 09:15

Goldman Sachs Fined: A Closer Look

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