HUMOR AND SATIRE | WHAT REALLY HAPPENED

HUMOR AND SATIRE

Apr 08 10:40

JON STEWART EXPLAINS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN EASTER AND PASSOVER

Stewart urged his fellow Jews to “take it up a notch” when it comes to youth marketing. After all, it’s not like the story of Passover is totally uncool. “Moses parting the Red Sea? How have we not turned that into an amusement park?” he wondered.

Most critically, Passover could really use a make-believe character to rival the Easter Bunny. To that end, Stewart proposed “Passover Pete, the guitar-playing, pizza-eating lion.”

Apr 08 08:34

Dilbert Explains Economics And Economists!

All of that said this Dilbert cartoon attempts to clarify the field of economics and let me preface it first it by saying that in no way is it meant as a knock on economists (okay maybe just a little).

Apr 07 15:23

Faithful dog lies down with companions as they’re arrested

A drug raid in the Brazilian state of Santa Catarina turned up some drugs, guns and one faithful dog. The photo, which has since gone viral in Brazil, shows the suspects – and apparently their companion as well – surrendering to authorities during the raid.

Apr 06 08:48

Last Week Tonight with John Oliver: Government Surveillance (HBO)

Apr 05 08:42

TIMELY TOON ~~ THE SECRET ORIGIN OF THE EASTER BUNNY

Webmaster's Commentary: 

Looks vaguely familiar!

Apr 04 10:45

ALTERNATIVE SATURDAY CARTOONS: APRIL 4, 2015

Another round of Saturday cartoons from Snippits!!! Enjoy!!!

Apr 03 22:26

Man, 28, arrested over 'cake slice attack'

Those Scots! They can turn a cake slice into an improvised weapon.

A YOUNG man was arrested after allegedly assaulting another man with a CAKE SLICE.

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Apr 02 09:44

TODAY’S TOON ~~ #JeSuisPresidentObama

How the extreme Israeli right sees the US President

Apr 01 08:04

Russian strategist suggests nuking Yellowstone

The best way for Russia to solve its problem with America would be to trigger a nuclear weapon at Yellowstone National Park and hope it would set off a supervolcano, destroying the continent, according to the chief of a Russian think tank.

Webmaster's Commentary: 

I assume this is an April Fool's joke!

Mar 31 11:30

Questionable tweets by new 'Daily Show' host Noah draw fire

A day after Trevor Noah was declared the new host of "The Daily Show," complete with the blessing of the exiting Jon Stewart, graphic tweets targeting women, Jews and Middle America are causing a social media backlash.

By Tuesday, Trevor Noah was a trending topic on Twitter as he drew fire for jokes described as tasteless, hateful — and unfunny. Roseanne Barr was among those calling out the 31-year-old South African comic, who has an international following and two million Twitter followers.

"U should cease sexist & anti semitic 'humor' about jewish women & Israel," she tweeted late Monday.

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Mar 30 10:33

The Americans With No Abilities Act of 2015 – [PARODY]

While this is just a joke, based on what we’ve seen come out of Washington D.C. the past few years it’s not all that far fetched:

Mar 30 10:21

Panhandler Party

Mar 30 09:25

Jon Stewart Mocks US Joining Up With Iran: We're 'Punching Ourselves In The D*ck'

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Mar 30 07:24

CERN scientists discover elusive "Obama particle" which destroys economies on contact (satire)

In a stunning breakthrough that's sure to result in dozens of Nobel Prizes being awarded to somebody, scientists at the CERN Large Hadron Collider have discovered the elusive "Obama particle" by slamming the U.S. economy into a brick wall at 99.999% of the speed of a derivatives flash crash.

The collision produced an elaborate pattern of joblessness and wealth destruction which was captured and mapped by CERN scientists to create a statistical detection model that pinpointed the elusive Obama particle's role in destroying everything it touches.

"We believe this Obama particle may be the fundamental destructive force behind anti-matter and dark matter all at once," said one scientist who asked not to be named. "It seems to be capable of destroying everything it encounters."

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Mar 28 08:03

The Last Ever Top Gear

Mar 27 07:55

Tom Lehrer - So Long, Mom (A Song for World War III)

Mar 24 09:59

TODAY’S TOON ~~ NETANYAHU’S MESSAGE TO OBAMA

‘You wanna reopen the ‘Peace Process’? Just send 30 BILLION DOLLAR$ in unmarked bills in a brown paper bag …

My address remains the same.’

Mar 24 07:31

Parody: Ted Cruz for President 2016!!!

Okay, this video we made is total parody just like our sham presidential elections are every four years.

“If you want more of the same… I’m Ted Cruz.”

Senator Ted Cruz has officially announced his campaign for president… oooh, gosh diddly, are you excited at all the cheesy electioneering to come?

We decided to make our own Ted Cruz presidential bid video because the one he produced is literally vomit and/or cringe-inducing. Who is buying that ridiculous tripe? Did he actually go get the “In a world” movie trailer guy to do the voice at the end?

Mar 24 06:22

Ted Cruz for President 2016!!! - PARODY

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Mar 20 11:44

VIDEO: The Daily Show With Jon Stewart On Netanyahu Win

Jon Stewart is warning Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu that he might be facing a lawsuit... over stealing our election strategies.

Mar 20 10:30

FIRST DAY OF SPRING! - Tom Lehrer - Poisoning Pigeons In The Park

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Mar 19 13:12

Magic Obama Logic: Mandatory Voting = Good, Mandatory Voter IDs = Bad and Racist

It’s being reported that Obama recently went on record that he believes the U.S. should have mandatory voting. An interesting stance, wouldn’t you say, considering he’s staunchly against mandatory voter ID laws.

In fact, his latest pick for Attorney General to replace Eric Holder went on the record that mandatory voter ID laws are all fueled by, what else? Racism.

So…mandatory voter laws = good, but mandatory voter ID = bad and racist? How exactly does that work again?

Mar 19 10:09

Awkward: CBS Talking Head Accuses Radio Host Of Being White And Co-Opting Black Culture: “I’m Actually Black”

Ouch. This is actually kinda hard to watch... unless you find it easy to watch video of someone getting their butt handed to them.

Mar 19 10:04

Propaganda Alert: NYT Tries to Make Jeb Bush Look Cool with Puff Piece About Him Meeting Rapper Ludacris

This is not the first time NYT got caught bending over for Jeb Bush and Co. Back in October the outlet wrote the fawning Bush piece, “The Bushes, Led by W., Rally to Make Jeb ‘45’” and, oddly, did not allow comments so no one could rank or comment on the story whatsoever.

Then again, propaganda is one thing, but when it becomes this painfully obvious, it just hurts.

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Mar 17 22:47

RIP Internet Explorer (1995-2015). We Knew Ye All Too Well

Microsoft Internet Explorer, a browser familiar to many and loved by few, passed away today after a long illness. It was 19 years old.

Bowing to the inevitable, Microsoft admitted today that it had decided to remove IE from life support. (IE will, however, continue to receive tech support through at least 2016.) IE is survived by Windows, Office, and the Microsoft Mouse.

Mar 17 15:25

Putin May Be Back, But These #WhereIsPutin Tweets Are Still Hilarious

I can’t decide which one is my favorite, the rainbow unicorn or the militarized hummingbird?

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Mar 17 11:37

Commission Receives Complaints About Human Rights Situation In The US, Venezuela And Ecuador

Migrant agricultural workers in a field of California.
The Inter-American Commission on Human Rights (IACHR) held on Tuesday the second day of the 154 session and receive reports, among others, on the situation of the right to freedom of expression in Ecuador, forced migration and persecution of community advocates LGBTI in Central America, and the situation of economic, social and cultural rights in Venezuela.

Also receive reports on Chile, Peru, Paraguay and Haiti. The period ends on 20 March. On Monday, the Commission received complaints about the “serious impact” on human rights in the draft canal in Nicaragua, lack of guarantees during trials in military courts Guantanamo Bay (Cuba) and job discrimination against immigrant’s undocumented immigrants in the United States.

http://whatisusa.info/commission-receives-complaints-about-human-right...

Mar 17 10:03

BACK TO THE UPCOMING US ELECTION ~~ IN COMICS

Now that the Israeli Election is finally taking place today, here’s a look at the US Election Campaign …

Mar 16 15:05

IN COMICS ~~ THE ISRAELI ELECTION CAMPAIGN

Mar 16 07:07

Poroshenko's Anti-Crisis Plan Leaked

Webmaster's Commentary: 

Translation: The Presidential Administration of Ukraine

Anti-Crisis Plan:

1. Take out a loan.
2. Take out a loan.
3. Take out a loan.
4. Take out a loan.
5. F*** up everything.
6. Buy a ticket to London.

Signed: Poroshenko, President of Ukraine

Mar 15 15:04

Boston Marathon Bombing Hoax Trial Of Dzhokhar Tsarnaev

Barf News From Mainstream Media: Boston Marathon Bombing Hoax Trial Of Dzhokhar Tsarnaev
Pop your popcorn and grab your favorite beverage. Inform yourself via Yahoo.com Tabloid News about the fake Boston Marathon Bombing Trial of Dzhokhar Tsarnaev. Admire the crisis actor artist sketches of the trial. No need to view any trial video, as past video footage of the hoax bombing was all you needed to evoke your Hollywood movie emotions.

Stay tuned to mainstream media tabloid-type news. Rely on Yahoo entertainment news to echo the snake belly lies of crisis actor “testimony.” And, be reminded that this “live coverage” highlights crisis actor (people) sketches and a contrived news script that is second to none.

Mar 14 10:52

SNIPPITS AND SNAPPITS - Alternative Saturday Cartoons March 14, 2015

Here is another round of Saturday cartoons from Snippits. Enjoy!!!

Mar 14 10:32

Congress's Approval Rating No Longer Detectable by Current Technology

After a challenging week for the legislative body, the approval rating of the United States Congress has shrunk to a point where it is no longer detectable by the technology currently available, a leading pollster said on Friday.

Mar 14 08:27

Netanyahu Assures Critics He Still Has Utmost Respect For U.S. Money

In a concerted effort to ease growing tensions between the two nations, Israeli prime minister Benjamin Netanyahu assured his critics Monday that he still has the utmost respect for U.S. money. “Relations between our two countries have at times been strained, but I promise you all that the entire Israeli government, myself included, still holds a high opinion of the United States’ cash,” said Netanyahu, emphasizing that his speech to Congress was not intended to show any disrespect for American funding whatsoever.

Mar 14 06:23

redacted tonight - homeless bill of rights

why racoons have more rights than homeless people
why it is illegal to ask for a handout while the government showers tax money on corporations and the military-industrial-espionage-prison state

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Mar 13 08:56

DC Matic: The Hillary-Approved Email Server!

Mar 12 08:50

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart Under Miner

Mar 12 05:59

Obama’s OFA FAIL: ‘85% of 8th Graders Believe in Man-Made Climate Change, Too Bad Only Half the Senate Agrees’

So… eighth graders are now the scientific standard for policy decision making in this country? Gotta love these responses, too.

Mar 12 04:22

Air Force Launches ‘Virtual Work’ Mobile App

“Call me old-fashioned, but I used to live for the days when we’d gather around the espresso machine after breakfast and start making plans for lunch. Now I actually have to repeatedly click on mission buttons called ‘Send Email’ and ‘Present PowerPoint.’”

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Mar 10 09:35

Harvard University Sent Out A Rejection Letter That Is Pure Gold

Harvard gets many applications every year. Everyone wants to attend their school but few get selected. The person who submitted this application thought he had it in the bag, but Harvard shut him down with authority.

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Mar 09 09:29

Benjamin Netanyahu - Stand! Down! Iran (Noy Alooshe Remix)

Webmaster's Commentary: 

BUMP TO THE TOP

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Mar 07 15:40

Scary! Putin doesn't just ride horses bare chested......

He is now known to have hitched a bare chested ride on a wild weasel-pecker too.

https://twitter.com/MoscowTimes/status/572725096370065408/photo/1

No wonder NATO generals lay awake at night scared shitless thinking of what this man might try next.

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Mar 06 16:31

Never fly Solo, Han! From Wookies to weasels, internet users post series of memes in tribute to Harrison Ford’s heroism in plane crash

Brian Williams says he’s a little banged up after the Harrison Ford plane crash, but he’ll be okay.

Mar 06 15:15

RT Must Be Punished for Its Warmongering, Lies and Child Abuse Cover-Ups

From propagating lies about Libya, to airing tributes to pedophiles—It's time for UK's media regulator to kick RT off the air.

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Mar 05 11:18

Remote-Controlled Cockroaches: Coming Sooner Than You Think To 'Protect' That Hard-To-Spy-Upon Urban Ghetto

Original post.

But why send in a roach? Is not the 'Internet of Things' likely going to be treasure trove enough? One would think the seemingly endless metadata, streaming with our implied consent (did you read that Terms of Service carefully?) from every little electronic device now taken for granted in our day-to-day lives, would be able to provide more than enough details to make it trivial for supercomputers to reconstruct our every move in real time -- like the DEA is already doing for all cars on US roads...

Hyperlinks (including to a DIY roach robot kit) and video at source.

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Mar 04 13:52

Putin Killed Nemtzov - undeniable proof!

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Mar 04 12:36

Jon Stewart: Bibi’s Congress Reception Was ‘Longest Blowjob a Jewish Man Has Ever Received’

Jon Stewart tonight wrung some comedy out of Benjamin Netanyahu‘s speech to Congress, mocking it as a “Festival of Slights” to President Obama.

Mar 04 12:24

Bibi's Big Adventure - Comedy Central Original

Mar 04 06:53

Bibi at Congress: A Fantasia

Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu looked out over the gathered members of Congress today. "You are my harem," the Israeli leader said, "and I am your sultan. I could pluck any one of you out and bring back to my tent, adorn you in silk, and ask you if you're grateful that you get the privilege to suck the sultan's cock. You, there, Senator Tom Cotton, part your lips and smoke the cream pipe of paradise. Darrell Issa, your tongue looks ready to wash the leathery folds of the sultan's orb sack. Don't crowd, my concubines. I will bless each of you when my jism geyser is ready to erupt. Each of you will receive the gift of the sultan's pearls on your faces."

The concubines were joyous, especially because the sultan would be showing that foul Moor who presumed to lead them the proper way to take care of a harem. "The sultan thinks we're special," declared the oldest, scabbiest concubine. "I hope he is most pleased with how we pleasure him."

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Mar 03 14:14

Video: Student Loans Are Like STDs (Everyone Is Catching Them)

Student loan debt is the next big economic sledgehammer that's about to come down on this country...the next big bubble to burst following the housing bubble.

Consider this. Student loan debt is somewhere upwards of $1.3 Trillion in this country these days — and that's just the official government loans, not private lenders, etc. The Congressional Budget Office is estimating that's going to double in the next decade as tuition rises and more people go back and get even more loans, going to grad school in the hope that if they take on even more debt and get another degree, maybe they'll finally be able to get that magical job where they can afford to live to be debt free one day to match it... a condition known these days as "American Dream Syndrome."

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Mar 01 08:07

The Emperor’s Nuke Clothes

Feb 28 09:48

US MSM has already created a composite sketch of #Nemtsov's killer

Feb 24 18:07

ISIS Is Back With A Super-Duper Scary Training Video To Intimidate Western Infidels

Feb 21 09:07

How to Talk Australians - Episode 1: ‘G’DAY KNACKERS’

Feb 19 07:30

BREAKING! LATEST VIDEO FROM "ISIS!"

Feb 18 07:55

An "A.S.S.H.O.L.E." Will Be Everywhere, Promises President Obama

President Obama today signed into law the "America's Secret Services Helping Our Liberties Endure" act, or ASSHOLE.

"This much needed piece of legislation will give us the tools we need to place an ASSHOLE on nearly every street corner, making our great country impervious to another 9/11," said the president, adding "There will be an ASSHOLE on your cell phone, an ASSHOLE monitoring your ISP and many more ASSHOLE's in our schools, work places and other public meeting places where al Qaeda types can and do flourish."

"We must endure a few privations, such as temporarily suspending the Bill of Rights in our never-ending struggle against those who attacked us on 9/11, but no freedom loving American will object to that small sacrifice to help us prevent al Qaeda or IS or aL Nusra from again striking the homeland."

Feb 15 10:47

George Carlin on Global Warming

Feb 12 10:47

If The News Was Forced to Tell the Truth

For the same reason grocery stores make you walk 20 minutes to find the milk, news outlets are in a constant competition to find the most indirect route to the information that you actually need to know. We asked you to show us what it might look like if they were forced to tell you the plain truth. The winner is below, but first the runners up ...

Feb 12 07:15

Arrest Punxsutawney Phil, Suggests New Hampshire Police Department

On Tuesday, the Merrimack Police Department in Merrimack, New Hampshire, announced that an arrest warrant was out for Punxsutawney Phil, the rodent who recently predicted the country would see six more weeks of winter. The public notice was posted on the police department’s Facebook page.

“We have received several complaints from the public that this little varmint is held up in a hole, warm and toasty,” the post reads. “He told several people that Winter would last 6 more weeks, however he failed to disclose that it would consist of mountains of snow!”

Webmaster's Commentary: 

Ah, the New England sense of humor! I miss it!

Feb 10 14:32

White House Petition - Provide kneepads to all Congressmen to prevent injury while groveling at the speech of Israeli Prime Minister Netanyahu

Most congressmen are elderly and such frequent groveling may cause injuries which can be easily prevented by the provision of kneepads.

Further, as all congressmen receive health care subsidized 100% by taxpayers, the prevention of groveling-related injuries benefits public finances.

Feb 09 07:33

Kremlin-Funded Study Says Obama Is a Space Lizard

The Internet nearly exploded yesterday after it was revealed that a Pentagon "movement patterns analysis expert" concluded—after carefully studying video footage—that Vladimir Putin has an "autistic disorder."

But the study's spectacular findings pale in comparison to similar research funded by the Kremlin, which has clearly demonstrated that Barack Obama is a lizard from outer space.

Feb 07 08:19

Brian Williams lost a leg in the Spanish American War.

He also died for 22 minutes on Omaha Beach.
Fell through the ice at Chosin Reservoir.
We owe that fucker a lot.

Feb 06 13:14

Jordanian Army Crossing syria Border to Fight ISIS

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