HUMOR AND SATIRE | WHAT REALLY HAPPENED


HUMOR AND SATIRE

Mar 31 08:13

NEW BEN GARRISON! -- THE LEFT CAN'T TAKE A JOKE!

#MaxineWaters @oreillyfactor #JamesBrown

Mar 29 08:04

Twitter POLL

Would you donate to put Sen. John McCain into Space for the first Manned Mission to the SUN?

Webmaster's Commentary: 

"No problem; I plan to go at night!" -- John InSane

Mar 27 13:47

Hah! Trump Drains Deep State Swamp

Ben Garrison strikes back at the Deep State coup against Trump in his latest cartoon depicting the massive DC swamp.

Mar 27 08:28

Best Video Ever!...Donald Trump Fans Love It And Hillary/Obama Supporters Absolutely Hate It.

Webmaster's Commentary: 

This is great!

Mar 26 22:10

Fuck the Jews - Doug Stanhope

Mar 26 09:04

US Will Keep Ground Troops in Libya

In a press briefing at the Pentagon today, African Command leader Gen. Thomas Waldhauser announced that the US intends to keep ground troops in Libya for the foreseeable future to support “friendly forces,” and to “degrade” the ISIS forces that remain in the country.

Waldhauser did not specify how many US troops are in Libya now, or how many will stay, but did estimate that there were less than 200 ISIS fighters left in Libya. The US had announced the end of the anti-ISIS campaign in Libya back in December, but never fully withdrew from the country.

The US forces were in Libya trying to help the “unity” government defeat ISIS in the city of Sirte. US officials repeatedly claimed the city was totally surrounded, and that no ISIS fighters would get away, though when the fighting finally ended, a substantial number of ISIS fighters did in fact get away.

Webmaster's Commentary: 

Translation: this is "military-speak" for the reality that the US government is never leaving Libya because of the oil and the oil pipelines.

Mar 25 11:08

SATURDAY ALTERNATIVE CARTOONS: PT 2: MARCH 25, 2017

Here is the latest round of Saturday cartoons from Snippits (part 2). Enjoy!!!

Mar 25 10:54

SATURDAY ALTERNATIVE CARTOON: PT 1: MARCH 25, 2017

Here is the latest round of Saturday cartoons from Snippits (part 1). Enjoy!

Mar 24 09:47

Thursday Humor: Medicare Part G?

If you are an older senior citizen and can no longer take care of yourself and need Long-Term Care, but the government says there is no Nursing Home care available for you, what do you do?

You may opt for Medicare Part G.

The plan gives anyone 75 or older a gun (Part G) and one bullet.
You may then shoot one worthless politician.
This means you will be sent to prison for the rest of your life where you will receive three meals a day, a roof over your head, central heating and air conditioning, cable TV, a library, and all the health care you need.
Need new teeth? No problem. Need glasses? That’s great. Need a hearing aid, new hip, knees, kidney, lungs, sex change, or heart? They are all covered!
As an added bonus, your kids can come and visit you at least as often as they do now!

Webmaster's Commentary: 

SIGN ME UP!

Mar 21 08:58

Did Putin Kill David Rockefeller? Experts Weigh In

Famous banker and lizard king David Rockefeller has passed away at the age of 101.

According to reports, doctors were not able to perform an eighth orphan-heart transplant in order to save his life.

Yes, David died of heart problems, which obviously means he was assassinated by Vladimir Putin.

Mar 21 04:48

BEX ALERT!: FBI's Russian-influence probe includes a look at far-right news sites

Unbanned at Breitbart this morning. They need all the bots they can get now!

WASHINGTON
Federal investigators are examining whether far-right news sites played any role last year in a Russian cyber operation that dramatically widened the reach of news stories some fictional that favored Donald Trump's presidential bid, two people familiar with the inquiry say.

Operatives for Russia appear to have strategically timed the computer commands, known as bots,to blitz social media with links to the pro-Trump stories at times when the billionaire businessman was on the defensive in his race against Democrat Hillary Clinton, these sources said.

Mar 16 10:24

Russian Hacker

Mar 16 06:15

Amy Schumer Blames Special's Failure On Trump Admin, Praises Herself As 'Dangerous & Brave'

Comedian Amy Schumer blamed the failure of her new Netflix special on the Trump administration Wednesday before patting herself on the back for being "dangerous and brave."

Mar 14 09:52

LATEST TOONS ~~ TURKEY, THE ‘OTHER’ MIDDLE EAST DEMOCRACY

Mar 12 08:55

SUNDAY’S TOON ~~ CALLING THE KETTLE BLACK

Look who’s accusing Germany of “nazi practices”.

Mar 12 07:47

That’s one way to do it! Hilarious photos reveal the pranksters who followed the rules VERY literally – with some truly bizarre results

Mar 11 12:02

SATURDAY ALTERNATIVE CARTOONS: MARCH 11, 2017

Here is the latest round of Saturday Cartoons from Snippits. Enjoy!

Mar 10 15:59

Watch: Shining a light on CNN’s fake news

The problem has gotten so intense that a Reddit user using the decidedly anti-PC handle “shitsinyoursafespace” was able to compile a list of 50 outright false reports from CNN since Trump scored the Republican nomination.

Mar 08 13:07

CHECK OUT THESE HILARIOUS RESPONSES FROM MEN: HOW WILL YOU SURVIVE A DAY WITHOUT A WOMAN?

Today we will see thousands of women across the country marching and striking for “The Day Without A Woman.”

We’ll avoid the politics of it all, as that’s been covered almost to the point of exhaustion on various news outlets and social media.

We will, however, take a look at the humorous side of it, because the point of a Day Without A Woman, we assume, is to show men how important they are in our lives. To be clear, no one here at The Daily Sheeple thinks otherwise.

When the organization that started the movement asked men how they plan to support women on March 8, some of the responses, as you can imagine, were pretty hilarious. Some are nothing short of pure brilliance, and whether male or female, we think you might just get a chuckle out of these:

Mar 07 15:06

BEX Alert!!! - "Canadian Jewish groups troubled by UK blogger's visit"

"B'nai Brith is disappointed that Canadian authorities have allowed notorious British Holocaust denier Alison Chabloz to enter this country, especially when the express purpose of her visit is to propagate her anti-Semitic views," the organisation said in a statement.

"Once again, we see Canada disappointingly taking a softer line on hate speech than fellow democracies such as Germany and the UK."

Mar 06 20:32

Where We Are!?!

Mar 05 09:36

SUNDAY’S TOON ~~ JUSTIN TRUDEAU DISAPOINTS BOTH CANADA AND PALESTINE

Recent opinion polling shows that Canadians support sanctions against Israel for its violations of international law; but the Liberal Party government of Justin Trudeau is nonetheless supporting Conservative resolutions aimed at condemning supporters of Boycott, Divestment and Sanctions (BDS).

Mar 04 20:15

TSA Gets Down and Dirty with New Pat-Down Procedures

As is obvious from the lead in,the Russians don't appear to be too happy with Trump.

Grab ‘em by the pussy indeed: US airport security is simplifying its pat-down procedures, and things are about to get intimate.

Transportation Security Administration (TSA) agents have always had five pat-down options to choose from in frisking passengers who either requested a physical search or who triggered enhanced security measures. The options included frisking methods that weren't particularly invasive.

Mar 04 11:25

SATURDAY ALTERNATIVE CARTOONS: MARCH 4, 2017

Here is the latest round of Saturday cartoons from Snippits. Enjoy!

Mar 03 10:56

SATURDAY ALTERNATIVE CARTOONS: FEBRUARY 25, 2017

(Better late than never? . . lol) Here is last week's Saturday Cartoons from Snippits. Enjoy!!!

Mar 02 13:15

Feds threaten to shut down giant Las Vegas marijuana festival

We need some stealth weed! Invisible Pot!

RENO, Nev. One of the world's largest marijuana festivals, which is expected to be held this week on tribal land outside of Las Vegas, has been facing a possible shutdown for the past two weeks, according to a letter sent by federal officials earlier this month.

U.S. Attorney Daniel Bogden, based in Las Vegas, sent a Feb. 16 letter to the Moapa Paiute Tribe reminding the tribe that the transport, possession, use and distribution of marijuana is illegal under federal law. The marijuana trade show and festival, planned for March 4 and 5, would be in violation of that law, according to the letter obtained by the Reno Gazette-Journal.

Mar 02 11:44

Deep Thoughts with Nancy Pelosi During Trump’s Speech to Congress

Webmaster's Commentary: 

Captioning Pelosi is going viral. Here are some more (one of them may seem familiar).

Mar 01 06:56

TRUMP’S MINISTRY OF BATHROOMS NEW DOOR SIGNS PROPOSALS

Feb 27 16:33

This video deserves an Oscar

Genius :)

Feb 27 11:48

Come to Your Sensei

Last week I saw Piers Morgan tell an American TV personality—a big-time Trump hater whose face looks exactly like a penis—how strange he found it that two people like Bush and Blair, who lied about the war and caused over a million Iraqi and thousands of American deaths, were hardly vilified for their crimes when compared with the stuff being hurled at Trump after only four weeks in the saddle. The penis (Bill Maher) shouted and raved at Piers, who laughed it off.

Feb 25 13:48

Large sewage spill in Tijuana, Mexico, flows north of border

Give me your criminals,your mentally ill,your huddled masses yearning to take American jobs,the wretched refuse of your 3rd world country! And don't forget send us 140 million gallons of sewage. Mexico is such a great neighbor.

SAN DIEGO, Cali. – Officials in Southern California are crying foul after more than 140 million gallons of raw sewage spilled into the Tijuana River in Mexico and flowed north of the border for more than two weeks.

Feb 25 07:47

The Official List of Things You Can Blame on Russia

This list will be submitted to the Library of Congress upon completion, so that it might survive the impending Arctic Killer Squid War of 2017. Since there are so many things to blame on Russia, and there is no possible way to remember them all, we kindly ask that you help us add to our list. We only request that you provide a source that corroborates said blame. Even though it's already obvious that it's Russia's fault.

Feb 24 07:46

Surgeon General’s Warning: BBC Consumption Causes Merciless Brain Rot

Our entire staff are trained neurosurgeons, so please take our word for it when we say that even minimal exposure to the BBC will lead to irreversible brain-eating parasites. Also, reading the Guardian could harm your precious bodily fluids. Forever. Better not risk it.

Feb 21 14:37

This Parody Website Allows the Left to Live in a World Where Hillary Won the Election

Ever wonder what the left envisions America would be like if Hillary were president right now? Well look no further!

Feb 21 14:23

Flashback: Trump 'Hammers' Ben Carson In Must-See Slap-Down: "How stupid are the people of the country to believe this crap?"

Trump continues an epic rant eviscerating Carson, using excerpts from Carson's own book.
"He said that he's pathological and that he's got pathological disease!!" Trump excitedly proclaims. "Now if you're pathological, there's no cure for that folks, okay? There's no cure for that.
"He said he went after his mother with a hammer... And I said 'wow that's tough.' Man, did anybody in this audience ever GO AFTER THEIR MOTHER WITH A HAMMER!?? After their mother with a hammer? Okay? So he went after his mother this is in his book, this isn't me, I'm just trying to save you money on a book! He's a pathological, damaged, temper, a problem. And they talk about my tone is a little bit tough.

Feb 20 16:53

If the Auto Industry Operated Like the Vaccine Industry...

Feb 19 18:29

Kat Timpf protests Westminster dog show welcoming cats

Kat Timpf protests Westminster dog show welcoming cats
Feb. 18, 2017 - 3:03 - 'The Greg Gutfeld Show' correspondent pickets outside Madison Square Garden

Feb 19 10:17

THE PUTZ AND THE POTUS IN TOONS

Start the week with some smiles

Feb 17 10:39

If the Auto Industry Operated Like the Vaccine Industry...

Feb 16 23:25

McCain Vows to Push for More Anti-Russian Sanctions in Phone Call With Prankster

Russia's notorious phone pranksters Vladimir Kuznetsov and Alexei Stolyarov, known as Vovan and Lexus, made hoax phone calls to US Senators Lindsey Graham, John McCain and Republican Majority leader Mitch McConnell, speaking about sanctions and cyberattacks.

On Wednesday, Kuznetsov and Stolyarov told Sputnik that hoax phone calls were made to Graham, McCain and McConnell, promising to release the details later.

Feb 16 09:38

THE PUTZ AND THE POTUS FINALLY MEET

Netanyahu just met Donald Trump and they are very friendly.
Image by Latuff

Feb 15 11:18

HERE IS WHY PEOPLE IN CALIFORNIA APPEAR CONFUSED

'Splains everything, in one picture.

Have you ever wondered why folks in California appear so confused?

Consider this:
http://www.pbase.com/opinion/image/164922126

Chief Heather Fong (left), is the first SFPD female, lesbian chief of police.

Theresa Sparks (center), a former male, is president of the San Francisco Police Commission, CEO of a multi-million dollar sex toy retailer, and a transgender woman.

Sgt. Stephan Thorne (right), a former female, is the first transgender male SFPD police officer.

Their Representative in Congress is Nancy Pelosi.

ANY QUESTIONS?

Feb 14 15:06

Brilliant cartoon by Ben Garrison: California the Cat Lady Sate

(This is an even better depiction of the unrestricted immigration situation than the pigeon cartoons which depict a woman putting out bird food and one or two birds show up. 'How cute' she says and puts out more food. Next day 10 birds show up, she still thinks it's cute. By the time a few days pass, hundreds of birds have come, poop all over the place, are noisy and leave a mess of other debris. The woman is appalled and fed up and decides to stop feeding he birds. When no food is put out, the numbers dwindle and after a short time none of the birds is about and the woman can once more enjoy her backyard, peace and quiet, no money outlay, no cleaning up after a bunch of noisy pigeons.

Feb 14 11:55

TOOSDAY’S TOON ~~ WHO’S THE REAL BOSS IN AMERICA TODAY?

Feb 14 06:25

HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY

Feb 13 18:54

Smart Girl Scout Sells Cookies In Front Of A Pot Shop..

She sold 117 boxes in 2 hours! LOL

Feb 12 18:56

Sunday 5th February 2017 Visible Radio Broadcast

http://www.lesvisible.com/blogs/visible-radio-show

Well Mike, what can we say about our friend Les, except to say he is not Visble is to ignore the FACT! LOL!

Feb 12 13:48

Morocco Second (Official)

Thanks Carl! I have had the flu bad. This made me laugh so hard I cleared my lungs!

European countries might think that they are the best choice for the second greatest country after the US. But we in Morocco think otherwise. Here's why America First Morocco Second

Feb 12 12:18

World’s comedians make fun of ‘America First’ because they see US rogue state empire FIRST in illegal Wars of Aggression, looting, lying. Trump can be a hero with .01% US arrests, or be the most laughed-at joke ‘leader’ in modern history

*hyperlinks/videos live at source*

joke: something that is amusing or ridiculous, especially because of being ludicrously inadequate or a sham; a thing, situation, or person laughed at rather than taken seriously; farce.

humor: a comic, absurd, or incongruous quality causing amusement.

German comedian and late-night talk show host Jan Böhmermann challenged the world’s comedians to satirize US President Trump’s slogan America First with Who wants to be second? His team’s offering in three minutes (context here with 12-minute English subtitled video):

With the telling URL of EverySecondCounts, comedians so far from 24 nations have videos from two to five minutes (many more on YouTube from ordinary people). For example, Morocco (4 minutes):

These comedic teams are jesting the obvious incongruity of Americans’ failure to recognize the US is first in:

Feb 11 15:54

SATURDAY ALTERNATIVE CARTOONS: FEBRUARY 11, 2017

Here is the latest round of Saturday Cartoons from Snippits. Enjoy!!

Feb 10 14:31

Trump: A New Era of Justice Begins

But who's brain would they use?!

Feb 08 07:22

PROOF that Russia and Iran Want War!

Feb 05 15:39

The Last Stand of Implicit Whiteness

Here is the latest from The Murdoch Murdoch krew. Enjoy!!!

Feb 05 12:08

SATURDAY ALTERNATIVE CARTOONS: FEBRUARY 4, 2017

Here is the latest round of Saturday Cartoons from Snippits. Enjoy!!!

Feb 03 08:06

IMAGE AND JOKE OF THE WEEK ~~ REFUGEES RESPOND TO TRUMP

Feb 02 10:26

'Unattended children will be taught to swear': Hilarious restaurant signs warning that unruly children will NOT be tolerated sweep the web

There's nothing quite like a child's shrill scream to ruin the atmosphere when you're enjoying a relaxing restaurant meal.

Conscious of the needs of their child-free customers, staff at these establishments have put up spoof signs warning parents of dire consequences if they fail to keep their kids in check.

From threatening to give noisy little ones coffee or teaching them to swear to selling them to the circus, the tongue in cheek posters are a reminder that diners prefer children to be seen, and not heard...

Feb 02 00:23

Trump to Mexico: Take care of 'bad hombres' or US might

CNN is reporting Trump offered Mexico aid not troops. My guess is carrot and stick.
Both stories are half of the truth even though both countries are denying the reports from AP and CNN. Brilliant the way it was released. After some Mexican politician threatened to unleash the cartels on the US a few days ago, I have been waiting for the Hammer of Don to drop!

By VIVIAN SALAMA
1 hour ago

WASHINGTON (AP) — President Donald Trump warned in a phone call with his Mexican counterpart that he was ready to send U.S. troops to stop "bad hombres down there" unless the Mexican military does more to control them, according to an excerpt of a transcript of the conversation obtained by The Associated Press.

Feb 01 17:29

Captain Kirk Meets Ashley Judd - F*#%-ing Hilarious!

Feb 01 11:41

Democrats have become the Kamikaze Party who are out to destroy anything they can because they lost an election

Feb 01 11:16

Every wicked lie the liberal media is going to broadcast about Neil Gorsuch… all in advance!

What follows is every lie about Neil Gorsuch you’re going to see from the dishonest media, all aggregated for brevity. Once you read this list, you no longer need to watch CNN or read the New York Times. (Then again, who does anyway?)

Neil Gorsuch kicks little puppies and cooks ants with a magnifying glass.

When Neil Gorsuch visits the home of a blind person, he moves the furniture around.

Neil Gorsuch is so racist that when he solves a Rubik’s Cube, he finishes the WHITE side first (and says the “colored sides” don’t matter).

When Girl Scouts knock on his door to sell him cookies, Neil Gorsuch dons a hockey mask and threatens them with an axe. (I know, it’s mean, right? Who would even do that?)

Remember when Mitt Romney drove around with a dog on the roof of his car? Neil Gorsuch put it there.

Feb 01 09:24

IMAGE OF THE DAY ~~ HAPPY GROUNDHOG DAY 2017

Feb 01 09:23

IN IMAGES ~~ WHERE IS HILLARY TODAY?

NEVER TO FORGIVE, NEVER TO FORGET

Jan 30 20:56

Robot baristas serve up the future of coffee gets brilliant comment

a new breed of coffee shop pushing the boundaries of automation both to make food and to serve it.

The above article received this brilliant response:
Jeffrey Spinner •
NOOOOOOooooo!

What will all the women graduating with college degrees do for work now! What will all the gender studies, french lit, heck ALL THE NON STEM graduates do!!! Not every women can be a hen pecking manager...someone has to actually work!!! Think of the 3rd gen feminist women, forever childless by choice...how will they afford to make trouble for the country! Think about the pussy hats!!!! Who will wear them!

Jan 30 20:11

Trump Fires US Acting Attorney General for Refusing to Enforce Order on Refugees

You're fired!!!!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=75SEy1qu71I

US President Donald Trump fired on Monday US Acting Attorney General Sally Yates for refusing to enforce his order suspending immigration from seven Muslim-majority nations, the White House said in a press release.

Earlier in the day, Yates, interim successor to Loretta Lynch, has ordered the Department of Justice (DOJ) to resist defending President Donald Trump’s executive order on refugees in court, citing constitutional concerns.

Jan 30 08:45

OBAMA UNINSTALLED SUCCESSFULLY

Jan 28 12:33

SATURDAY ALTERNATIVE CARTOONS: JANUARY 28, 2017

Here is the latest round of cartoons from Snippits. Enjoy!!

Jan 23 10:02

Women's March in DC leaves millions of cats hungry at home

Following yesterday's Inauguration, half a million American women put on their pink "pussyhats" and marched on Washington, D.C., leaving an estimated 2.5 million starving, meowing cats in their homes completely unattended and deprived of their scheduled mandatory hugs and prolonged belly rubs.

Organized by Planned Parenthood, Council for American-Islamic Relations, the Communist Party, and other progressive movements, American women came to Donald Trump's doorstep to express their anger, fury, indignation, and outrage over the fact that they can't name a single right that men have and women don't.

Another reason to be enraged was, of course, that while they were at the march, toilet seats were being left up in homes all across the country with total impunity.

Jan 22 14:35

Trump Energy Policy: President-Elect Considering Controversial Privatization Of Oil And Gas On Native American Reservations

Water,Air,Sunshine and Natural Resources on the Tribal People's land or on the American people's land should not be privatized for solely private gain.
They are a Public Utility. The Indians and the American people should get a cut and the private interest's should get a cut and the government should get a cut. Alaskans used to get a check every year on oil extracted in Alaska. We need to do that nationwide. Privatizing water and natural resources is a bad thing. Private interests should never control public water supplies. I want my cut!

Opponents of the Dakota Access Pipeline route in North Dakota may have won a victory this week, but Native Americans may have an even bigger fight on their hands if advisors to President-elect Donald Trump get their way.

Though American Indian reservations comprise just 2 percent of the U.S. land mass, they may contain as much as 20 percent of the nation’s oil, gas and coal reserves worth an estimated $1.5 trillion.

Jan 21 12:18

SATURDAY ALTERNATIVE CARTOONS: JANUARY 21, 2017

Here is the latest round of Saturday Cartoons from Snippits. Enjoy!

Jan 21 08:49

FLASHBACK - Thanks Famous Actors

Webmaster's Commentary: 

I wonder if all those still-crying celebrities are really pissed that Trump won, or just shocked to realize we don't give a #$%^ what their opinions are!

Jan 21 08:42

SOTHEBY’S ADS

Jan 21 05:14

America-First Working Folks SALUTE President Trump With Heartfelt Rendition Of Lee Greenwood's Classic 'God Bless The USA!'

I thought it would be such a great and fun idea for the working people of America to salute President Trump with a genuine heart-felt rendition of Greenwood's 'God bless the USA' from working folks across America. Let me tell you something. My YouTube channel has ten million views, and I know a viral video when I see it. I can just taste this one. This is very simple. All you have to do is sing ONE SINGLE LINE from 'God Bless The USA' and send it to me. I'll edit the video and post it to the internet Monday.

Jan 20 08:21

Time To Say Goodbye (to Obama) parody HILARIOUS

Time To Say Goodbye (to Obama) parody HILARIOUS

Jan 19 17:22

Time To Say Goodbye

Jan 18 20:39

Rand Paul: "The Dems Are Gonna Cry, Cry, Cry, They're Gonna Whine, Whine, Whine" (Video)

Rand Paul talks about repealing Obamacare and how he plans to deal with it. "..SOME of the penalties are going to be gotten rid of... It's kinda complicated... I think it's going to be done gradually,.. it's gonna gradually go away over a couple year period."

Jan 18 12:37

TODAY’S TOON ~~ DOUBLE STANDARDS FOR SYRIA AND YEMEN

Jan 18 09:05

Gun Owners Vs. Social Justice Warriors

Jan 17 12:57

‘TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE THE INAUGURATION…

‘TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE THE INAUGURATION:

‘Twas the night before Inauguration, and up in the tower
The Donald reflected on his newfound power.
The Deplorable masses had come out in force
Delivered a victory that would chart a new course

The snowflakes were shell-shocked with tears in their eyes
The media had lied to them . . . ‘What a great surprise
They had been promised a blowout a criminal Hillary win
But instead ole criminal Hillary took one right on the chin

From all corners celebrities took their far left cue ...

Jan 17 12:44

Flashback 2015: President Trump Calls Senator John McCain A Loser

The interviewer manically protests "he's a war hero! he's a war hero! He's a war hero! He spent five and a half years in a POW camp!" to which Trump scoffs and says sarcastically "He's not a war hero," then adds "he's a war hero 'cause he was captured. I like people that weren't captured, okay? I hate to tell ya." Trump hilariously continues, "McCain graduated last in his class at Annapolis. Nobody knows that."

Jan 17 08:56

Unite for Famous People

Jan 16 10:30

SATURDAY ALTERNATIVE CARTOONS: JANUARY 14, 2017

Here is the latest round of cartoons from Snippits. Enjoy!!!

Jan 16 08:59

Tim Allen - Precious Snowflake [Politically Correct America]

SHARE THIS ARTICLE WITH YOUR SOCIAL MEDIA