GAZA FLOTILLA AND USS LIBERTY SURVIVORS APOLOGIZE TO ISRAEL
ISRAEL CLAIMS ATTACK AUTHORIZED PERSONALLY BY LORD BALFOUR
This week “religious commandos” from Israel attacked the Gaza Freedom Flotilla in international waters. Seven Israelis were injured during the attack with one member of the “Israeli Secret Police” thrown overboard by an 81 year old woman. Jerusalem papers report that Israel is holding the woman for attempted sexual assault.
Is it illegal to rape a pirate on the high seas? We are waiting for a ruling from the International Criminal Court at the Hague on this.
One “commando” tripped over a wheel chair in the dark and fell down a flight of stairs. The injured commando, an Obergruppenfuhrer, a rabbinical rank with the IDF, said, “After shooting the man in the chair, I quickly ran over to get his watch. Imagine how I felt, nearly giving my life for a stinking Timex.”
The helicopters and boats used by the “floating and flying rabbis” were paid for by the US as part of a USAID program funding health clinics in Gaza. Israelis working with USAID on the project indicated that they the “Peace Flotilla” was mistaken for a “refugee resettlement cruise.”
“It is our job to care for the Palestinians. We were only there to do medical inspections, picking those that are healthy enough for labor and finding those who are unfit and need “special treatment.” Sixteen were selected for delousing. Relatives of those who received “special treatment” are waiting for a list of names and where to pick up the ashes.
The United States Senate, led by Josef Lieberman, John McCain and Charles “Chuckie” Schumer, voted unanimously to continue their unbroken support for Israeli efforts to provide a decent homeland for Palestinians, “no matter how many of these worthless Muslim bastards have to die in the process.”
Senator McCain was quick to point out, “My father, Admiral McCain helped organize a similar Israeli effort when the USS Liberty became stranded in international waters near the same area. Israel expended four torpedoes, firebombed the ship 3 times using napalm, hit the ship with over 18,000 rounds of cannon fire and even strafed the lifeboats but was unable to save the 34 killed and 174 injured during this rescue attempt.”
USS Liberty survivor Phillip Tourney, when questioned about the incident said, “At least they didn’t try to steal my watch.”
Another USS Liberty survivor praised the Israeli actions, “ Although nothing was wrong with our ship, after the Israelis set it on fire and torpedoed it, every effort was made to by them to motivate our US Navy fire crews. When the Israelis came up firing machineguns at our medical and fire rescue personnel from close range, we had an excellent battle simulation. In fact, the Israeli’s “simulated” several of our medical personnel, treating the dozens of wounded and dying, to death.”
Senator Schumer was quick to point out, “The USS Liberty incident demonstrated the highest bravery any American ally can show. The quick action of the Israeli crew, reloading weapons, putting the dodging and wounded crew in their sights and managing to deal with the guilt and stress for years afterward, the highest level of heroism and sacrifice a son of Zion can display.”
An Israeli press spokesman released the following statement about the Gaza Freedom Flotilla rescue effort: