The cops got a call that the man was rampaging around his house and breaking windows. When they arrived, the man had fled, taking bottles of pills with them. The Sherriff contacted Verizon to ask them to turn the man's cellphone on so they could track his signal, but the operator said the missing man's bill would have to be paid first.
From this we learn two things.
1. Verizon are scum (and we just canceled with them).
2. Your cell phone can be remotely turned on.