HUMOR AND SATIRE | WHAT REALLY HAPPENED


HUMOR AND SATIRE

Apr 23 12:42

Russian Collusion" Hits a Wall

Apr 23 10:56

Trump May Be Involved In 1956 Lemonade Stand Scandal, Mueller Investigation Finds

Special counsel’s office has also discovered irregularities in tax filings for a newspaper route president had in 1958

Apr 22 08:10

DNC Files Lawsuit Alleging Nation Should Never, Ever Stop Focusing On 2016 Election

Demanding greater accountability for the race’s outcome, the Democratic National Committee reportedly filed a multimillion-dollar lawsuit Friday alleging that the nation should never, ever stop focusing on the 2016 presidential election. “Our lawsuit lays out, in no uncertain terms, that the nation should never under any circumstances move on from the 2016 election results,” said DNC chairman Tom Perez, adding that the 66-page lawsuit filed in a New York federal court asserts that the American people must remain solely preoccupied with every little goddamn detail from the 2016 presidential race. “We’re calling on WikiLeaks, Russia, and Trump campaign officials to join the Democratic Party in our efforts to spend the next several years prioritizing endless fucking discussions about potential election interference and what that means for democracy.

Webmaster's Commentary: 

This is The Onion, but close enough to reality that I decided to post it.

Apr 21 09:20

How Yulia and Sergei Skripal (and their cat) Saved the World! A Synopsis of the Attack on Syria.

By Brett Redmayne-Titley

This past Saturday, we all discovered that the latest triumvirate of self-serving, sadistic and socially challenged world leaders (US/UK/FR) had suffered a storied defeat…one caused by two little pigs – guinea pigs really – and one black cat...

Apr 17 09:32

THE HORROR OF NOT BEING ON FACEBOOK

The horror dating story everyone dreads.

Apr 16 17:36

Brave 'dogs of war' fighting at gate

This is a bit like the self designated P3 taking on Russia in Syria :)

Apr 16 10:57

New Ben Garrison comic is brilliant.

Comey Pyle - by Ben Garrison

Apr 14 13:21

Jaysh al-Islam militants call US-led strikes on Syria “farce” – reports

The Jaysh al-Islam militants’ leader Muhammad Allush reportedly expressed indignation of the US-led strikes via Twitter and called it a “farce.”

Apr 13 05:18

Holocaust ‘Orphan’ Dr. Ruth Responds to Millennial Ignorance About Nazi Atrocities

On Israel’s Holocaust Remembrance Day Thursday, Jewish Americans were confronted with sobering statistics based on a survey done by Schoen Consulting, commissioned by The Conference on Jewish Material Claims Against Germany. Nearly one-third of Americans in general and 41 percent of millennial Americans think “substantially less” than 6 million Jews were murdered in the Holocaust, the survey found. Further, two-thirds of millennials surveyed could not identify Auschwitz.
Note: This is spite of laws telling people what they have to believe (the lies). Dr. Ruth is the one who gave lessons on oral sex by comparing it to licking an ice cream cone. Nuff said!

Apr 12 07:50

13 People Who Don't Seem To Understand That Things Cost Money

Webmaster addition: I get this all the time. People want me to do computer animations and visual effects for their film projects because they can "make me famous." :)

Apr 11 12:39

Tom Lehrer - So Long, Mom (A Song for World War III) - with intro - widescreen

Apr 11 08:46

New MAGA Hat

Apr 10 09:30

Police Department Vows To Arrest Winter For Staying Around

A New York police department “arrested” winter Friday for sticking around for so long.

The Depew Police Department sent out a Facebook post notifying winter that it had been placed under arrest, reports the Associated Press.

The police department said winter had the “right to remain silent” and that if winter cooperated with them, the department would “look past” winter’s “past transgressions.”

“Any further snow you produce will be held against you in a court of law. You have the right to an attorney, but only if you turn in the groundhog that predicted six more weeks of winter,” the department wrote in a Facebook post. “If you are willing to work with us, we are willing to look past your most recent transgressions over the course of this past week. The choice is yours.”

Apr 10 09:27

The #HillaryClinton #BlameTrain -- New Ben Garrison Cartoon

@GrrrGraphics

The #HillaryClinton #BlameTrain new #TinaToon

Who will Hillary blame next?

Apr 10 05:31

Mom Apologizes After Accidentally Sending Son to Elementary School in Obscene Shirt

What would you do if you accidentally sent your 10-year-old son to school in a less-than-appropriate McDonald’s t-shirt? If you’re Texas mom Shelly McCullar, you own up to the mistake in a hilarious Facebook post that quickly went viral. Her son’s shirt might have looked like the famous Mickey D’s golden arches, but upon closer inspection, it’s clear that they are actually a woman’s legs spread open to look like the famous M logo. Just to top off the inappropriate sandwich, the shirt also includes the famous “I’m lovin’ it” slogan. It’s an honest mistake but that doesn’t make it any less funny.

Apr 09 11:54

Texas Town Embraces Gender Neutral Restroom Culture - (Satire)

Marklar's Ghost's blog post was featured

Apr 09 10:52

Diamond & Silk: Facebook Says We're "Unsafe

This is a hilarious rant on Fox news.

"We ain't laying out in the street, we ain't no thugs, we don't belong to no gangs, so how are WE unsafe??!!... it's offensive, it's appalling, it taints our brand, it taints us, as women ... Facebook is supposed to be an entity that wants equality, equality for women. Well why are you censoring two women? two women of color?"

Apr 08 23:09

Reporter Jonathon Pie rips into Boris Johnson

Some naughty words.

Apr 08 15:12

FAKE NEWS #AntiSchool

1:40 in. Do not hurt yourselves.

The media is owned by 6 corporations.
We need to break the conditioning.
They want you weak, divided, controlled.
Think for yourself.

Apr 06 08:05

25,000 sealed federal criminal indictments: White and Black Hat endgame scenarios

*hyperlinks/videos live at source*

~25,000 sealed federal indictments since October 2017 is 50 times more than usual, and therefore game-changing news seeming to mean one of three sets of facts:
a) .01% arrests for ongoing illegal rogue state empire annually killing millions, harming billions, and looting trillions, OR
b) .01% patriot arrests to remove our voices from revealing the illegal rogue state empire (.01% = ~30,000 Americans), OR
c) yet another disinformation rogue state PSYOP to waste patriots time and energy.

Let’s consider all three scenarios (full adult language, especially how I imagine .01% rogue state leaders gleeful in victory).
Scenario 1: Patriots victory!

White House Press Briefing Room with President Trump, various officials and media packed in the room.

Trump: Ladies, gentlemen, children of America, along with viewers from around the world: you are free!

This briefing will summarize our perspective in “draining the swamp”:

Apr 05 16:09

Novichok Flashback:- Expelling the Russians

This clip from the 1980's documentary "Yes Prime Minister" shows that the English Empire has been floating on bullshit for a long time

Questions For English PM T.May before launching Nuclear War

Apr 03 10:58

Modern Educayshun

Apr 03 06:51

Belarus Expels Moscow Diplomats? ‘Leading Russia Expert’ Falls for Cheeky April Fool’s Joke

Anders Aslund’s deep knowledge of Eastern European politics was no match for April Fool’s, when the supposedly all-knowing Russia commentator fruitlessly cheered fake news about Belarus expelling Russian diplomats. Aslund, who was presented by the American think tank the Atlantic Council as a “leading specialist” on Russian economic policy and Eastern Europe in general, has been featured on the BBC, CNN and the Washington Post as a commentator on Russian President Vladimir Putin’s administration. In 1999, he predicted the imminent collapse of Russia (something he is still waiting for). Now, in 2018, Aslund appears to have been left slightly red-faced after he provided online commentary on a breaking news prank regarding further expulsions for Russian diplomats. The prank was carried out by Martin Kragh, of the Swedish Institute of International Affairs, who tweeted: “Breaking: Belarus expels 5 Russian diplomats in solidarity with the UK.

Apr 02 13:30

How he gave the order :-)

What Really Happened Radio Show

Mar 31 13:42

Sylvester Stallone’s Brother Calls David Hogg a ‘P*ssy’, Wants Classmates to ‘Sucker Punch’ Him

lol, Frank ('Far from over!') Stallone's tweets are now "protected."

Mar 27 16:54

Newsflash: President Donald J. Trump Had Sex With A Whore Twelve Years Ago

Newsflash: President Donald J. Trump had sex with a whore twelve years ago. Let that sink into your limbic lobes, you poor, opiated, Facebook-addled, morbidly-obese, fly-over nation of lumbering, deplorable, gun-gripping, Jesus-haunted voters. A hoor! Do you hear?

Mar 27 09:01

Sack cartoon: John Bolton

Mar 27 07:56

Archie Bunker on Democrats

Mar 26 09:04

Frustrated Father Chops off his Son’s hand for watching porn

It’s a weird shocking incident a father chops off his Son’s hand for apparently getting addicted to porn on his phone. It happened two weeks before in Hyderabad, India.

Mar 25 14:16

New Ben Garrison: ASSault Weapon!

Mar 25 08:46

Honey badger – Floyd Mayweather of wildlife can attack lion’s “ball” literally

The Infamous honey badger is quite literally living a badass life-giving zero f*ck to major players of food chart. Never give up attitude and its defensive technique gives them a upper hand for its survivability in the wildlife.

Mar 22 14:35

Mueller Fishing

Mar 22 10:09

Overheard in Los Angeles (53 Pics)

Mar 20 17:06

bad bad Russians

Mar 20 15:32

Monkey on the loose last seen near the King of Diamonds Strip Club, police say

What is this country coming to. We have fugitive monkeys,probably drunk,patronizing strip clubs with the police in hot pursuit!

The monkey mystery deepened Tuesday afternoon, as North Miami Beach cops combing the neighborhood for the small primate weren’t able to confirm if it was the same animal that escaped from a Dania Beach primate lab a few days ago.

That missing monkey’s name is Mikey.

North Miami Beach police, working with the Florida Fish & Wildlife Conservation Commission, are in search of a small as-yet-unnamed monkey that was first spotted early Tuesday morning outside of the popular strip joint, the King of Diamonds.

Someone spotted a monkey as they were leaving that establishment and notified police.

Mar 17 10:30

What a timely video, especially with all the #FakeNews and Main Stream Media propaganda circulating on the internet!

Mar 16 09:58

SALISBURY POISON ATTACK: BRITISH POLICE FINDS PUTIN'S ID CARD AT THE SCENE

Now, the last doubts about the perpetrators of Russia in the poisoning of the Russian ex-spy Sergei Skripal should be cleared up. As the British government announced today, the ID card of Russian President Vladimir Putin was discovered at the crime scene in Salisbury.

According to British Prime Minister Theresa May, the ID card was only found in a re-investigation of the crime scene because it was under a leaf.

"Russia now has 24 hours to deliver Vladimir Putin to be interviewed in London," the British government said. "Otherwise, we'll take that as a guilty admission."

Mar 16 09:19

NYTimes Presents Proof That Russia Murdered Ex-Spy With Chemicals

Over the course of just two weeks, three nor’easters have blasted the Eastern Seaboard with heavy snow, damaging winds and coastal flooding. The first in early March struck New England with incredible wind gusts up to 97 mph and knocked out power to 2 million homes and businesses. The...

Mar 16 03:05

NYTimes Presents Proof That Russia Murdered Ex-Spy With Chemicals

CASE CLOSED

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Mar 14 12:36

BEX ALERT - U.S. Monitoring Possible North Korean Military Base in Syria

The United States is monitoring information indicating that North Korea may be running a large underground military base in Syria that could be used for advanced weaponry and nuclear-related work, according to regional reports and U.S. officials tracking the situation.

From a Lost Age... HORROR Crawls from the Depths of the Earth!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kuvAKxlfN3U

Mar 12 14:33

Archie Bunker On Gun Control

he even covers Communism in the Soviet Union and "the international bankers," LOL!

Mar 12 08:05

Ann Coulter Mocks Claim That Trump's Use Of The Term 'Globalist' Is An 'Anti-Semitic' Code Word For Jew

Ann Coulter wasted no time in repeatedly mocking this claim, listing a bunch of Jewish public figures and calling them 'globalist.' Her grand finale was the tweet 'Israel must be defended as last redoubt of the Globalists.'

Mar 06 13:40

photo -- Multicultural Toilet Instructions

Kemi Immigration Center, Finland

Feb 27 11:59

Oscars 2018 - Sexual Predator of the Year | LEAKED CLIP!!!

Feb 27 02:04

Failure Never Stop Your Success!!

An inspirational Story to Overcome Failure.

Feb 22 19:44

Archie Bunker's Editorial on Gun Control

Poltical Science.Carrol O'Conner must be rolling in his grave.

From the "All in the Family" Season 3 premiere, entitled (appropriately) "Archie and the Editorial." It aired over 40 years ago.

Feb 22 11:17

Harrison Hanks - The Ultimate Crisis Actor

Feb 20 12:54

Millennial Job Interview

This pretty funny & very well done. (3 minutes.)

Feb 20 00:07

James Howard Kunstler Dissects Suburbia

In James Howard Kunstler's view, public spaces should be inspired centers of civic life and the physical manifestation of the common good. Instead, he argues, what we have in America is a nation of places not worth caring about.

Feb 18 10:29

Rosenstein and Mueller Running for Cover Leaving Brennan Exposed

Paul Craig Roberts

Now the Deputy Attorney General Rosenstein confirms what I told you in my previous post. Mueller found no evidence that Russia had any impact on the outcome of the 2016 election. http://www.thegatewaypundit.com/2018/02/bitter-john-brennan-reacts-mue...

So what was Russiagate all about?

Feb 18 08:37

SUNDAY’S TOON ~~ 2 TRIALS, ONE CRIMINAL

Feb 17 20:21

Giant boar 'Pigzilla' caught rummaging through trash dumpsters in Hong Kong - TomoNews

HONG KONG — A giant wild boar was recently seen dumpster diving in a garbage bin close to a school in Hong Kong.

Feb 17 20:15

Pig in Australia Steals 18 Beers from Campers, Gets Drunk, Fights Cow

Forget crocodiles and snakes, the real animal threat in Australia is wild pigs. At least if you’re camping.

Feb 16 12:23

Hillary's House of Horrors - Halloween 2016

Feb 13 07:20

HAVE YOU NOTICED THAT SOME OF THE MOST INTELLIGENT AND DEEP THINKING INDIVIDUALS OUT THERE FAIL TO BE HAPPY?

They may have a loving life partner, family and be successful in their job; yet, there is something that occasionally makes them feel alone, sad and discouraged. As Ernest Hemingway said, “happiness in intelligent people is the rarest thing I know.”

Feb 10 08:36

Scott Adams has the first page of the redacted Democrat memo

Jan 31 05:10

Russian PM Jokes That Cabinet Members Not on US ‘Kremlin List’ Should Step Down

Not being put on Washington’s ‘Kremlin List’ is reason enough for a cabinet member to step down, Russian Prime Minister Dmitry Medvedev said jokingly while talking to reporters after meeting with his Belgian counterpart Charles Michel.

>>>

(*That's hysterical! Then there's the one about The Russians 'passing gas' with The US ! https://steelguru.com/gas-oil/tanker-carrying-1st-batch-of-russian-lng... while The US allegedly has imposed sanctions on Russia .
No wonder they call it The World Stage ! LMAO)

Jan 30 08:42

BREAKING: Democrat Adam Schiff's Counter-Memo has been leaked

Jan 19 14:08

Imagine Being Arrested for Being Politically Incorrect Reporting a Crime to a Social Justice Warrior Cop.

A funny Video in a funny way demonstrating Political correctness gone wild.

Jan 19 05:26

Little Rocket Man and The Stable Genius

Covfefe, Little Rocket Man and ‘stable genius’: A year of Trumpisms

(*A fun romp down the memory lane of Trump seventh grade vocabulary disfunctions , dim witticisms , and spelling errors from TY1 (*Trump Year One) )

Jan 18 15:21

COMEDY | What It’s Like To Interview A Millenial

This is pretty funny...

---

Jan 18 10:19

50 Americans Summarize Their Home State In One Perfectly Sarcastic Sentence

No state is perfect. Just ask the people who live there.

Jan 15 12:01

Jews and Their Jokes

***
Citing a Pew Research Center study titled “A Portrait of Jewish Americans,” Dauber reports that “42 percent of respondents felt that ‘having a good sense of humor’ was part of ‘being Jewish in America today,’ 14 percent more than being ‘part of a Jewish community’ and 23 percent more than ‘observing Jewish law.’?” In other words, at the heart of being Jewish, in the minds of a preponderant number of American Jews, is comedy. How did this minority people produce so much humor, so many jokey jakeys?

The Old Testament, to put it gently, is not notable for humor.>>>

Jan 12 14:17

A Brief History of Political Profanity

Lyndon B. Johnson had a famously dirty mouth. He chided Canada's Lester Pearson for his anti-Vietnam stance by saying, "You pissed on my rug," and once likened the difference between a Senator and a Representative to "the difference between chicken salad and chicken s___." He even considered removing J. Edgar Hoover as FBI chief but changed his mind, reasoning that "it's probably better to have him inside the tent pissing out, than outside pissing in."

Yet despite Johnson's many outbursts, Richard Nixon holds the unofficial record for being the most openly profane U.S. President — probably because he recorded much of what he said in the Oval Office. In a taped 1971 conversation between the President and two of his aides, Nixon called Mexicans "dishonest," said that blacks lived "like a bunch of dogs" and that San Francisco was full of "fags" and "decorators." And that was just one conversation.

Jan 12 12:59

WATCH WHAT IT’S LIKE TO INTERVIEW A MILLENNIAL…

WARNING: The showing of this video may trigger some Millennials. If you are a Millennial and feel triggered by viewing this, please find a safe space immediately.

Jan 11 06:42

.01%’s evil on earth from cosmic perspective: a Goddess discovers she has a zit

*hyperlinks/videos live at source*

An analogy of present-day evil on Earth. Our story is over two days from three perspectives: a Goddess with a zit, the infected cells within the zit, and white blood cell warriors.
Day 1

Young Goddesses meet for learning, work, and enjoyment. Two apparate within beautiful human-like bodies.

Goddess 2: Oh mySelf! What is that thing on your cheek?!

Goddess 1: Hideously ugly, I know. It’s called a zit. I’ve heard of these, but never got one.

G2: How did it get there?!

G1: It’s a localized infection caused by my relative imbalances recently: too much of some actions and not enough of others.

G2: What are you going to do with it?

G1: (smiling) After topical treatment failed, I now need to wait about a day, then use a tool to remove the infected material. I have to wait, otherwise the infection might go deeper and become a bigger problem.

G2: Good plan. I’ve heard about zits, but have never seen one.

Jan 10 14:48

Donald Trump Is Toast

Who knew this morning, that when I put a piece of delicious Nature's Fresh white bread into my trusted 1983 Sunbeam toaster, that my life would alter forever.

For when the toast popped up, low and behold, an image of the man that has divided the world appeared right in front of me, staring at me like an apparition from another dimension.

Was I dreaming, was this #FakeNews? Nope, it was true alright, and I was now left with the thought of what to do next.

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