OK, what do you do when your wife comes home late at night unexpectedly, only to find you in the childrens playroom with two prostitutes, whereupon she begins beating on your dumb ass with a Guitar Hero controller and punching at you? Call the cops of course, and have her arrested! is the obvious answer.
Not that I am ever likely to be in that exact situation, but my first reaction would be jewelry. Big. REALLY big!!!!