"The press ... traditionally sides with authority and the establishment." -- Sam Donaldson, ABC correspondent

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In yet another scandal involving the conservative Supreme Court judge, Democrats released a damning photograph of Justice Samuel Alito reading the Constitution.

After releasing the photo, Democrats argued that Justice Alito had clearly been radicalized and could not be trusted to make impartial rulings on the constitutionality of any case due to the fact that he had read the Constitution in the past.

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Viewers of the Imperial News Network were stunned today, as Mark Hamill joined a Death Star press conference to say what a good job he thinks the Emperor is doing.

The surprise appearance, reportedly put together in an effort to shore up Emperor Palpatine's dwindling support throughout the galaxy, featured Hamill giving the Empire his official seal of approval.

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The Flat Earth MOVA Globe removes science and facts from the conversation to better represent the world we all live on. Behold an Earth that does not spin and is not spherical. Matter of fact, it’s flat as a pancake. Unlike other MOVA Globes that turn thanks to hidden magnets and solar technologies, the Flat Earth MOVA Globe is freed from traditional laws of physics like magnetic fields and gravity.

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In a reversal of President Joe Biden’s walkback of his use of the term “illegal” when referring to the suspected murderer of 22-year-old nursing student, Laken Riley, the White House said that Biden did not apologize for the use of the term.